Title: Convocation
Rating: NC-17 (adult readers) due to S.L.V
Spoilers: Some spoilers for S1-4
Summary: Wraith Hives gather in a system under the protection of Atlantis and when Ronon returns with refugees, the team has no choice but to investigate. Meanwhile, Beckett returns from Michael with a treatment that could save Keller and discovers the disturbing truth behind her condition - a truth that Michael had diagnosed, and Haddad, still facing issues of her own, had guessed. When matters come to a head, who will be left standing?
Disclaimer: MGM own Stargate: Atlantis. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no revenue is being made from copyright material. No infrigement intended.

Act 1 to 3 now available.

Author's Note: Look guys, the rating says it all, but I'll spell it out. This contains explicit scenes. Many thanks gospikey for hard work in Beta.

Previous Episodes:
Harm's Way (1), Chain of Command (2), Enmity, (3), Mantle, (4), In Truth... Freedom, (5), Letting Go, (6), Beyond the Third, (7), Deliverance, (8), No Way Back, (9) Apostasy, (10) Crossing Lines, (11) and Revelation (12) can be accessed here.

Title: Convocation
Rating: NC-17 (adult readers) due to S.L.V
Spoilers: Some spoilers for S1-4
Summary: Wraith Hives gather in a system under the protection of Atlantis and when Ronon returns with refugees, the team has no choice but to investigate. Meanwhile, Beckett returns from Michael with a treatment that could save Keller and discovers the disturbing truth behind her condition - a truth that Michael had diagnosed, and Haddad, still facing issues of her own, had guessed. When matters come to a head, who will be left standing?
Disclaimer: MGM own Stargate: Atlantis. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no revenue is being made from copyright material. No infrigement intended.

Act 1 now available.

Author's Note: Look guys, the rating says it all, but I'll spell it out. This contains explicit scenes. Many thanks gospikey for hard work in Beta.

Previous Episodes:
Harm's Way (1), Chain of Command (2), Enmity, (3), Mantle, (4), In Truth... Freedom, (5), Letting Go, (6), Beyond the Third, (7), Deliverance, (8), No Way Back, (9) Apostasy, (10) Crossing Lines, (11) and Revelation (12) can be accessed here.

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

From the beginning,
the key to renewal has been
the casting off of old skin.

But what does this mean? Not that we can live forever, but that the way to stay closest to the pulse of life, the way to stay in the presence of that divine reality which informs everything is to be willing to change. Still, change what? To change whatever has ceased to function within us. To shed whatever we are carrying that is no longer alive. To cast off our dead skin because dead skin can't feel. Dead eyes can't see. Dead ears can't hear. And without feeling, there is no chance of wholeness, and wholeness remains our best chance to survive the pain of breaking.

I don't know what to write today... and it bothers me. It scares me a bit actually. I've already started this entry three times, got about a couple of sentences in and thought, no... that's not what I want to write.

Not last year, but the year before, when Mir and I were in Vegas for the convention Mir insisted that I go and enjoy an afternoon at the spa there... I wasn't sure about it... felt a bit... I don't know, nervously embarrassed I guess. I'd never had such pampering before, and didn't think I deserved it, but Mir insisted, wanting me to have that, telling me that I did deserve it and so I went. I had a facial, and a full body scrub, and OH. My. Goodness, afterwards I have never felt so alive - so physically alive. I felt soft, and renewed and loved (because of course Mir had made it all possible).

I was thinking about it just now you see, with all the thoughts of getting rid of dead skin in order to be able to feel. Now, I know this is a physical example... an actual concrete example, but it makes me think along emotional and spiritual lines... what I need maybe is a full emotional scrub, a full spiritual scrub with figurative apricot seeds to get rid of the dead skin I'm carrying inside so that I can feel again. Just a thought, and I don't know how I'd do it.

I just keep thinking - a couple of more weeks or so, and I'll be there, because all I want to do right now is lie down and curl up together - let Mir read to me and run her fingers through my hair or whatever while I just drift... though that could be bad manners 'cause I wouldn't be paying attention to her then. :P

But it's what I want - what I need. I need to shed the skin of the distance that distance has put between us. I'm going to do that.

On an entirely different note, and I don't even know if it's related at all, but it's choking me up inside so I'm just letting it out...

Since I got home I've been feeling particularly agitated... down... lonely... lost, and it's all because I read a list of chapter titles for one of the new Stargate books. One of which is 'Michael'

Okay so getting a little bit long winded, I've been putting of and putting off and putting off reading the new Legacy series of Stargate books, because they're a book continuation of the series in much the same way that the Pocket Book series continues on from where Enterprise left off... and god knows I didn't like what they did with Enterprise. So I was nervous of 'dodgy book canon' as I've come to call it, and that put me off reading the Stargate books.

Eventually, I caved... I started reading... and while I didn't find the first book, Homecoming too objectionable (actually I quite enjoyed it up until the last chapter or so), starting in on the second book, The Lost I had to put it down after the first chapter and I've not picked it up again since.

( Spoiler cut - don't read this if you don't want to know what happens until you've read the book )

So then I go and read that one of the chapter titles in Allegiance (Book 3) is 'Michael' and I had an immediate and visceral reaction. And but for the fact that he's not 'mine' I could almost believe that I was channelling Michael himself... I mean I suppose it could be Teyla's reaction but still... it hurts, and I don't like it.

Maybe I need to shed my expectations of the book and just read the damn things instead of expecting the worst... maybe that's what I should do. All I know is that right now, it's left me feeling on the verge of tears.

Don't mess with Michael

Title: Revelation
Rating: NC-17 (adult readers) due to S.L.V
WARNING: Act 1 contains non-con - may be triggering
Spoilers: Some spoilers for S1-4
Summary: On the brink of death, Todd risks an untested serum and is thrust into a spiral of madness and instinct. Meanwhile, Kenny must persuade the inhospitable Wraith Sentinels to transfer the Queen's young to the Nursery facility. On Atlantis, Haddad continues the desperate race to save Keller, that may lead her to follow Beckett into the deepest peril she has yet faced. (WARNING: Contains Non-con essential to the story.)
Disclaimer: MGM own Stargate: Atlantis. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no revenue is being made from copyright material. No infrigement intended.

Acts 1 through 3 now available.

Author's Note: Look guys, the rating says it all, but I'll spell it out. This contains explicit scenes, and the non-con warning appears at the header of the Act's page below the image, and on the Atlantis home page. You HAVE been warned. Many thanks gospikey for hard work in Beta.

Previous Episodes:
Harm's Way (1), Chain of Command (2), Enmity (3), Mantle (4), In Truth... Freedom (5), Letting Go (6), Beyond the Third (7), Deliverance (8), No Way Back, (9) Apostasy (10) and Crossing Lines (11) can be accessed here.

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

We carry a center
that is always returning.

No one can avoid straying, but our health depends on the breath that stops us from straying further. No matter how far we've gone, it is the practice of returning to whatever moment we are living now that restores us, because only when fully in each moment we can we draw strength from the Oneness of things.

Maintaining a focus isn't easy... in life as in meditation the
distractions are myriad and confusing. A lot of the time they're driven by impulses and fears... and we stray.

Our mind rushes off on 'what if' questions. We're distracted by 'shiny things' along the way... and it isn't a matter of a lack of discipline that stops us from doing it. It's being human.

I spent a long time yesterday talking with jansma about... well in the bigger picture it was all about feeling validated... since both of us, in different ways were being pulled 'off course.'

It seems to happen so often with sci-fi TV shows and movies, such as Star Trek, Star Wars, Stargate, et al, that they acquire 'in print' book spinnoffs, where the 'canon' of a cancelled TV show is continued in those books, and isn't always everything the fan would hope for. In some cases though, there are things that are as the fans would hope, but the whole notion of 'be careful what you wish for' comes into play then.

With the continuation of the SGA canon in novels, and the development of the Wraith (finally), we were both left feeling out of sorts for different reasons... and both struck by the need for validation, and the strength to continue in our own endeavours.

It's been a long while since jansma and I sat down for a good discussion like the one we had, and honestly what we had wasn't nearly long enough (we kinda got distracted by the shiny books in the bookstore), but I came away feeling somewhat less threatened by the existance of Stargate 'book canon' (because the Enterprise book canon terrified me), and hopefully, Jansma feels a little more aware of her own contribution to the Evolution of the Wraith.

Title: Revelation
Rating: NC-17 (adult readers) due to S.L.V
WARNING: Act 1 contains non-con - may be triggering
Spoilers: Some spoilers for S1-4
Summary: On the brink of death, Todd risks an untested serum and is thrust into a spiral of madness and instinct. Meanwhile, Kenny must persuade the inhospitable Wraith Sentinels to transfer the Queen's young to the Nursery facility. On Atlantis, Haddad continues the desperate race to save Keller, that may lead her to follow Beckett into the deepest peril she has yet faced. (WARNING: Contains Non-con essential to the story.)
Disclaimer: MGM own Stargate: Atlantis. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no revenue is being made from copyright material. No infrigement intended.

Act 1 now available.

Author's Note: Look guys, the rating says it all, but I'll spell it out. This contains explicit scenes, and the non-con warning appears at the header of the Act's page above the image, and on the Atlantis home page. You HAVE been warned. Many thanks gospikey for hard work in Beta.

Previous Episodes:
Harm's Way (1), Chain of Command (2), Enmity (3), Mantle (4), In Truth... Freedom (5), Letting Go (6), Beyond the Third (7), Deliverance (8), No Way Back, (9) Apostasy (10) and Crossing Lines (11) can be accessed here.

Title: Crossing Lines
Rating: NC-17 (adult readers)
Spoilers: Some spoilers for S1-4. (Also Season 5: Whispers)
Summary: Sheppard and the others aboard the Daedalus relentlessly pursue those he feels responsible for the death of their lost companion. Meanwhile Michael, under threat from the Wraith has gone to ground in order to keep Teyla safe. Back on Atlantis, Beckett grows increasingly more worried for Keller, and prepares to take an utlimate, personal risk in order to save her.
Disclaimer: MGM own Stargate: Atlantis. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no revenue is being made from copyright material. No infrigement intended.

Acts 1 - 3 now available.

Author's Note: Look guys, the rating says it all, but I'll spell it out. This contains explicit scenes. Many thanks gospikey for hard work in Beta.

Previous Episodes:
Harm's Way (1), Chain of Command (2), Enmity (3), Mantle (4), In Truth... Freedom (5), Letting Go (6), Beyond the Third (7), Deliverance (8), No Way Back (9) and Apostasy (10) can be accessed here.

Here's one... talk about being 'alone'

( DO NO HARM )

Here is the third of the stories - more a vignette this one... in a rather familiar voice.

( APPROPRIATELY DISGUISED )