Convocation - Act 3

Title: Convocation
Rating: NC-17 (adult readers) due to S.L.V
Spoilers: Some spoilers for S1-4
Summary: Wraith Hives gather in a system under the protection of Atlantis and when Ronon returns with refugees, the team has no choice but to investigate. Meanwhile, Beckett returns from Michael with a treatment that could save Keller and discovers the disturbing truth behind her condition - a truth that Michael had diagnosed, and Haddad, still facing issues of her own, had guessed. When matters come to a head, who will be left standing?
Disclaimer: MGM own Stargate: Atlantis. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no revenue is being made from copyright material. No infrigement intended.

Act 1 to 3 now available.

Author's Note: Look guys, the rating says it all, but I'll spell it out. This contains explicit scenes. Many thanks gospikey for hard work in Beta.

Previous Episodes:
Harm's Way (1), Chain of Command (2), Enmity, (3), Mantle, (4), In Truth... Freedom, (5), Letting Go, (6), Beyond the Third, (7), Deliverance, (8), No Way Back, (9) Apostasy, (10) Crossing Lines, (11) and Revelation (12) can be accessed here.

Another Threshold

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

From the beginning,
the key to renewal has been shedding,
the casting off of old skin.

….the Polynesians have carried for us the wisdom that we each grow in this life by breaking successive shells…

Saturday – it was a busy day today of trying to start catching up on things so that I can put aside this big laptop, and shift everything I might need to the little one – breaking the reliance on all the things that are on this computer so that I don't have to be hauling it around… and in among these busy moments Mir put to me a simple yet profound observation, that now I've started paying attention to things that I'd dropped, the universe has reciprocated with a thank you.

Another shell has been broken and I'm on the threshold of another growth, and one into which I feel myself a step closer to the path that truly could lead me home… to myself.

Pledges to Self

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

Being true to who we are
means carrying our spirit like a candle in the center of our darkness.

This means staying committed to your inner path. This means not separating from yourself when things get tough or confusing. This means accepting and embracing your faults and limitations. It means loving yourself no matter how others see you. It means cherishing the unchangeable radiance that lives within you, no matter the cuts and bruises along the way. It means binding your life with a solemn pledge to the truth of your soul.

When I woke up this morning I had little nervous squirrels in my tummy. I knew that I was going to turn on the computer and have news from Cairo… and when I got up and went downstairs without turning on the computer, I knew that I was running away from myself… now… I'm not saying I don't want to do this when I say that. I'm just using it to illustrate the first of these things, that I am self aware enough to know that when things get to be tough, difficult, confusing or a little scary… I delay – I run around being busy. I'm trying not to. I'm trying to stay true and strong to myself. (So yes, I went back upstairs and turned on the computer – and received the news that I fly on Tuesday.) The squirrels didn't go away, but I was being true to myself.

I've done too much of that running away in the past, and made a pledge to myself that there would be no more running… I wouldn't say that this was a test of that – more an opportunity to accept, to embrace limitations that I may not even know yet.

One thing I do have trouble with is loving myself. I wouldn't be so insecure if I didn't have trouble with it, maybe part of what I need it to remember to love myself every now and then. I don't know how I might ask for or receive help with that. It's not that I hate myself either, don't think that. I just – maybe that I'm too hard on myself.