After a Day of Worry
Jan. 24th, 2011 11:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
"The Sufi Poet Ghalib said:
Every particle of creation sings its own
song of what is, and what is not.
The wise hear what is.
The mad bear what is not.
And only a cracked mirror will show
a difference."
Coming as it does today, when I've been sitting thinking about a lot of things… choices, directions, hopes and fears… all of the above seems very fitting. We can be prevented so easily from taking chances by the constant worry of 'What if… what if… what if…'
So my life has challenges right now…
Supply teaching is not the sparkling gem of opportunities that it was the last time I did it. The economy hasn't recovered enough, (if at all), and the school budgets reflect this, and covering for absent staff with outside agency personnel just isn't possible. This is just what is. There's nothing I can do about it except accept the opportunities presented to me in the early morning calls, and if they don't come accept what is, rather than fear what is not. It gives me an opportunity to work on other job openings properly, rather that after a day's work, when I'm often too tired to do so well and to the standard I'd like, and that in turn makes it more likely that those opportunities translate into realities.
There's love in my life, and a more deep and abiding love I could not ever have hoped for, nor dreamed of. It is like the fairytale that my beloved spoke of at our engagement party – it is the embodiment of the happiness in her father's eyes when he saw that we were engaged. It is, and ever shall be the 'half of my heart that makes me whole.'
And yet… no, I'm not with her, we do not life together as one, within arms reach of each other for most of the time, and yes, that's hard, and heartbreaking, and leads to its own hard knocks, but the love is there, and it's a blessing. I love my guy very much.
Then, aside from the mysterious attacks of Urticaria which seem to come without warning from a cloudless sky… none of the things the specialist suggested might be the triggers have triggered an attack, we remain baffled – yet aside from that, I have my health.
So I have Love and health in my life. I have a roof over my head, and food to eat when I am hungry. These things are 'what is'… and I must accept the miracles that they are and hear the wisdom in their song, and not allow the depression of what is not, or the wistfulness of what I desire to blind me to those miracles.
That's not to say I will not strive to achieve the things I wish for in my life – to walk along the path of my purpose – I am, and I will continue to do so, but for now, I must listen to the song of what is, and make my steps along the path sing out a harmony.
There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.
--Albert Einstein.
"The Sufi Poet Ghalib said:
Every particle of creation sings its own
song of what is, and what is not.
The wise hear what is.
The mad bear what is not.
And only a cracked mirror will show
a difference."
Coming as it does today, when I've been sitting thinking about a lot of things… choices, directions, hopes and fears… all of the above seems very fitting. We can be prevented so easily from taking chances by the constant worry of 'What if… what if… what if…'
So my life has challenges right now…
Supply teaching is not the sparkling gem of opportunities that it was the last time I did it. The economy hasn't recovered enough, (if at all), and the school budgets reflect this, and covering for absent staff with outside agency personnel just isn't possible. This is just what is. There's nothing I can do about it except accept the opportunities presented to me in the early morning calls, and if they don't come accept what is, rather than fear what is not. It gives me an opportunity to work on other job openings properly, rather that after a day's work, when I'm often too tired to do so well and to the standard I'd like, and that in turn makes it more likely that those opportunities translate into realities.
There's love in my life, and a more deep and abiding love I could not ever have hoped for, nor dreamed of. It is like the fairytale that my beloved spoke of at our engagement party – it is the embodiment of the happiness in her father's eyes when he saw that we were engaged. It is, and ever shall be the 'half of my heart that makes me whole.'
And yet… no, I'm not with her, we do not life together as one, within arms reach of each other for most of the time, and yes, that's hard, and heartbreaking, and leads to its own hard knocks, but the love is there, and it's a blessing. I love my guy very much.
Then, aside from the mysterious attacks of Urticaria which seem to come without warning from a cloudless sky… none of the things the specialist suggested might be the triggers have triggered an attack, we remain baffled – yet aside from that, I have my health.
So I have Love and health in my life. I have a roof over my head, and food to eat when I am hungry. These things are 'what is'… and I must accept the miracles that they are and hear the wisdom in their song, and not allow the depression of what is not, or the wistfulness of what I desire to blind me to those miracles.
That's not to say I will not strive to achieve the things I wish for in my life – to walk along the path of my purpose – I am, and I will continue to do so, but for now, I must listen to the song of what is, and make my steps along the path sing out a harmony.
