Welcome To the Cedar Grove

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

Like the moon,
come out from behind
the clouds! And shine!

--Buddha

When I think of those who've taught me how to love, moments come to mind, not words.

Speaking of universal love, and love of family, not necessarily romantic love here, because – what I can remember of romantic love, Gran was always screaming at Granddad… no fault of her own, it was just her age, you know…? But in other ways, I'd say my paternal grandmother is the one person from whom moments of the kind of closeness and love of a familial and universal love combine in one.

We used to spend almost all of the school summer holidays with my grandparents, because they retired to the coast, and well, what child doesn't want to live at the seaside for the summer, right? As such, it was my grandmother that first really noticed my coming to maturity, and who took care of me in that regard. It sticks in my mind because she was always so terribly proper, and so terribly polite about all those kinds of things, so… when she said she had noticed, and would I like her to take me to the pharmacy for supplies, it just stuck in my mind. What I remember most, I think is her telling me a list of the things I would need (and the 'older ladies' among us may or may not remember such things), she was talking about things like belts and loops and things… I looked at her nonplussed and told her of the wonders of 'self adhesive' and she being quite astounded in a kind of 'whatever will they think of next' kind of thing. I loved her for it all the same. It was a special, bonding moment.

On an entirely different note – and not at all what Buddha intended I'm sure, but right now my 'love' goes out to Priceline, who managed to find me a fantastically priced flight for the last leg of my grand adventure to get to NC this year. LOL Mr. Shatner may make cheese ads, but the service is second to none. Who cares if I have to get from JFK to LaGuadia (the shuttle bus is only $12 and leaves every 30 mins), the whole round trip flight is only slightly more expensive than a one way bus ride!

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

It may have nothing to do with me,
but if a friend or loved one is sad or angry, I can secretly wonder, What did I do? What can I do?
Why didn't I do it all better to begin with?

Indeed, it is only a devotion to that sacred bottom beneath our moods of insecurity that brings us back in accord with the center of the heart which shares the same living center with all beings.

I'm sorry - I apologise in advance but I have to be a little flippant today, or else I think I will go crazy. But with the other day, examining ones bottom, and now we are guided to become devoted to our bottoms - and not only that, our 'sacred' bottom.

Well - my sacred bottom so got looked at yesterday - in fact on several occasions I was calling myself all manner of ass... and indeed blaming myself for the calamity that was my day. I know that's absurd, and egotistical, or at least sounds that way - so perhaps I should explain a little bit more.

When I was trying to make the booking for the coach trip to Heathrow, where I'd meet my flight to Chicago, I tried three times to make the booking online - each time it failed. On the third time, I took a look at the trains... which would actually have been cheaper by about £7, but because of being put off by the inconvenience of lugging 2 suitcases across the London Underground at close to rush hour (or leaving incredibly early and sitting in the airport for hours) I decided against it, packed up and walked to the National Express agent in the town, to book the ticket. Only /they/ couldn't make the booking either. The system was down. I waited until the following day then booked the ticket.

So when standing there, trying to get information out of the driver as to if/when we would get to Heathrow, in the back (or the bottom) of my mind was should have taken the damn train you stupid woman, this is all your fault.

Now before you all start yelling and screaming at me, I do know it wasn't my fault. Wasn't really anyone's fault just a series of circumstances, but... human nature has us looking for patterns... has us saying, 'the universe was trying to tell me x and I didn't listen'

The centre of my heart was just saying that I wanted to be with my love. Ask Mir, she'll tell you how upset I was when I called to tell her I wouldn't be there as we'd planned. As she pointed out though, I wasn't hurt, and we'd see each other soon. Yes it was disappointing, and it hurts to be kept apart by circumstances completely outside of our control. It didn't help that I'd just come from the American Airlines counter where the staff there were... to say they were unhelpful would probably be being kind. I'd had more sympathy and understanding from the woman I spoke to on the telephone in the taxi on the way down... another story in itself that I may tell one day... but not right now. Suffice to say that they acted as though it was my fault that I hadn't made the flight in spite of the fact that I a) had called ahead to keep American apprised of the situation, and b) explained the situation fully when I got there... 20 minutes after close of check in. Again before anyone starts saying 'well you should have given yourself more time,' I did! I always do in England because I know what a miserable bunch of 'jobsworths' people tend to be over here. In RDU I can show up 25 minutes before a flight and still get on the plane. In England... 45minutes and you're screwed. So yes... I left enough time, but when you have accidents and breakdowns, three hours becomes two... becomes 20 minutes before you can even blink.

So... while still in the mood to be devoted to my bottom - today I contact National Express to make the formal complaint... patiently explained to the person on the telephone what had happened. They told me to put it in writing, formally... which I have duly done, but it could take up to ten days for them to get back to me. Meanwhile, I will be flying before then. And guess what I'm going to have to do? Travel with National Express. Sometimes the universe really has a strong sense of irony. You have to laugh or else you'll cry.