Welcome To the Cedar Grove

At dawn, you brighten the day.
At evening, you are radiant.
At noon, you stand majestic,
and strong, and brilliant.
You are more lovely
than the sun and moon
shining in the sky together.
You are the priestess of heaven,
whose wonders are sung
by those above and those below.
To you, Inanna, we sing!

--Sumerian Song to the Goddess

This is the time for planting, deeply and tenderly, all that we wish to flower in the coming seasons of our lives.

Before I left Home, Mir and I were talking about the yard, and specifically the grass in the yard. About how she wants the kind of mower that is 'man' powered, that is - you push it, the blades turn around and cut the grass... and the stems of the grass get chopped off, the seed scatters, more grass. I hope so. The yard is already looking so must better than it did when it was all covered in leaves, and it's all due to Mir's hard work at clearing the yard. I feel warm, and loving and proud to call her my guy!

Yes, I know that's a physical thing - a physical want, but in many ways it embodies so many of the emotional and spiritual wants she and I have... our 'seeds' for the coming seasons of our lives.

We have London... and Aslan in London, and then summer together, hopefully some of which will be spent outside in the hammock, or lying on a blanket said grass, enjoying the sunshine... finishing up the burning of the sticks in the new firepit, reading... doing all of this together. The summer is a time for also, little by little getting things straight - especially the kitchen - making things 'puppy ready' sure, but generally making them so that there can be spiritual peace in the house... a house that can have everything in its place all neatly - ordered.

And our first July 4th together. How that warms my heart.

Then we have the cruise... a time together on the water... a time with friends, (and hopefully to see a wonderful new play too).

I have hopes for Christmas, and Easter next year as well. But those are 'pre-seeds' right now. Thoughts that I would like to happen, but I don't want to reach too far ahead. Plant too many seeds and there is too much to nurture, too much to spread the focus of the spiritual reaching for such wishes.

But to top it all... the seed in the pot that is the most important, moving to be with my wonderful guy, and if that has to be via Charlotte and the international school there, or through any other route - and petitioning the Universe to give us some relief from our overlong separation is an 'as above, so below' kind of addition to the work I'm putting in to get there - then so be it.

Deeply and tenderly - we will be together one day.

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

We are born with this need
to cry our naked cry
inside each other.

In this daring and fragile moment, the heart rehearses all its gifts: being who we really are, holding nothing back, trusting another, being complete, and witnessing the completeness of another.

I couldn't quote the whole of this post so I chose that part, since it is the most pertinent part of the whole thing and the part that I latched onto. The entry is about intimacy... and while I wouldn't say I was afraid of intimacy, not in the slightest, not in a physical sense, I have been holding back way too much in ways that aren't physical, and I think that's why the post has touched me so much.

I need to just put my action in line with my intent and live in the moments of complete honest and open, naked vulnerability that I share easily on the physical, but not so much on the emotional. So this isn't an explanation, just an affirmation or a promise – to myself, as much as to anyone else. For the time that I still have here, and then afterwards (though of course differently) while I am away, I will embrace that nakedness and vulnerability, and just trust the people to whom it's shown – and that's going to be mostly Mir – to accept everything good, bad and ugly... loving and everything else.