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Embracing the Day
Nov. 14th, 2011 11:17 pmFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
Try as we will, we cannot be both participant and observer at the same time without splitting ourselves.
I find myself having the hardest time with this, even after sitting and reading through the entry several times, perhaps it is because it is the most obvious thing in the world that we cannot be both at the same time. One either participates or one observes... sure, one can be observant while participating in something, but one is still a participant.
Today was my last full day in the UK before leaving to take up the new job. I didn't have very much to do, just contact the bank, go to my old school to pick up a letter and then pack. I decided to walk, even though I know it's a damn long way. I don't know why – except perhaps that I just wanted to spend the time out in the cold air, walking from one place to another, noticing the things I could see along the way... the birds the animals, the plants shivering in the breeze, I really was being a part of the walk. Yes, when I got back here I ached after such a long walk, but the experience of doing it...I needed it at the time.
Packing took longer than usual too... I kept on changing my mind about what I was going to bring, and of course I'm only allowed a certain amount of stuff on the plane so, I really had to focus on that. I'm still not sure that I got it right. It's done now though, everything I needed to do is done, aside from the shredding, which I guess I'll have to do in the morning now, but now that I'm sitting here with it all done and I'm experiencing a kind of emptiness. I can't describe it any other way... but I'm not fighting it, and I'm not trying to split myself off from it or anything, but embrace that feeling. It's very strange.
To birth the baby and to dwell on the baby at
the same time engenders madness.
--Chogyam Trungpa
Try as we will, we cannot be both participant and observer at the same time without splitting ourselves.
I find myself having the hardest time with this, even after sitting and reading through the entry several times, perhaps it is because it is the most obvious thing in the world that we cannot be both at the same time. One either participates or one observes... sure, one can be observant while participating in something, but one is still a participant.
Today was my last full day in the UK before leaving to take up the new job. I didn't have very much to do, just contact the bank, go to my old school to pick up a letter and then pack. I decided to walk, even though I know it's a damn long way. I don't know why – except perhaps that I just wanted to spend the time out in the cold air, walking from one place to another, noticing the things I could see along the way... the birds the animals, the plants shivering in the breeze, I really was being a part of the walk. Yes, when I got back here I ached after such a long walk, but the experience of doing it...I needed it at the time.
Packing took longer than usual too... I kept on changing my mind about what I was going to bring, and of course I'm only allowed a certain amount of stuff on the plane so, I really had to focus on that. I'm still not sure that I got it right. It's done now though, everything I needed to do is done, aside from the shredding, which I guess I'll have to do in the morning now, but now that I'm sitting here with it all done and I'm experiencing a kind of emptiness. I can't describe it any other way... but I'm not fighting it, and I'm not trying to split myself off from it or anything, but embrace that feeling. It's very strange.
