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The Sound of Her Voice
Jun. 27th, 2011 10:44 pmFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
…feelings of oneness grace us only when we verify the life around us. It makes us desperate to be loved, when we sorely need the medicine of being loving.
… find our place in the beauty of things by the attention we can give.
I know I'm very behind on these, the truth is, I had to stop and look inward, and then just open out again. Sounds very froo-froo, I know, but I can't find any other way to put it.
So, this weekend, Mir and I finally made the decision as to where we're going to stay in Vegas this year. We decided on /both/ hotels, in a combination that would give us what we wanted, and also make our life easier while the convention is going on. We're taking 'the risk' to try something new – staying at the Rio, (the con hotel), for the first two night of our vacation, and then moving to the Luxor – for our own personal romantic vacation, that we always love to share for the second two nights. I'm looking forward to being able to do all of those things that we didn't before – that makes little sense, I know – but I will, anyway…
Giving attention has been a blessing of both giving of love, and saving of self today – though the latter not so much for the worry it's caused – I woke up early today because I needed to walk to the ATM to get money for the bus. I get a weekly ticket, it's slightly cheaper than buying one every day. I looked at the receipt from the ATM and discovered that there was indeed money missing from my bank account… a substantial amount of money. I couldn't call the bank until they opened, by which time I was teaching, so it had to wait until 10am, and then they wanted to know why I left it so late – um… hello, I was teaching… anyway, yes, the money was missing from my account, yes they stopped my card and ordered an emergency replacement for me… yes it could take them up to 60 days or more to replace the money in my account – which isn't very helpful to me /at/ all. The only positive in this, I suppose, is that with all the troubles, my bank has processes for these things, and has promised to replace any money unlawfully taken from me… eventually.
That dealt with as much as I could for today, my heart turned back to the support and love for my guy, who started at her new school today. Lunch time arrived, and as soon as I got rid of the munchkins into the dining hall, I grabbed my cell phone and sent her a text message, of my hopes for a good first day. I wanted her to know that I was thinking of her. I spent most of the afternoon wondering how it was going, sending good vibes, trying to be as 'with' her as I could. I got to speak to her on her lunch break, and it was so good to hear her voice, even though the news we were sharing was not the kind of news we would both have wanted to share, just… hearing her voice was /everything/.
Rather the flying bird, leaving no trace, than the going beast, marking the earth.
--Fernando Pessoa
…feelings of oneness grace us only when we verify the life around us. It makes us desperate to be loved, when we sorely need the medicine of being loving.
… find our place in the beauty of things by the attention we can give.
I know I'm very behind on these, the truth is, I had to stop and look inward, and then just open out again. Sounds very froo-froo, I know, but I can't find any other way to put it.
So, this weekend, Mir and I finally made the decision as to where we're going to stay in Vegas this year. We decided on /both/ hotels, in a combination that would give us what we wanted, and also make our life easier while the convention is going on. We're taking 'the risk' to try something new – staying at the Rio, (the con hotel), for the first two night of our vacation, and then moving to the Luxor – for our own personal romantic vacation, that we always love to share for the second two nights. I'm looking forward to being able to do all of those things that we didn't before – that makes little sense, I know – but I will, anyway…
Giving attention has been a blessing of both giving of love, and saving of self today – though the latter not so much for the worry it's caused – I woke up early today because I needed to walk to the ATM to get money for the bus. I get a weekly ticket, it's slightly cheaper than buying one every day. I looked at the receipt from the ATM and discovered that there was indeed money missing from my bank account… a substantial amount of money. I couldn't call the bank until they opened, by which time I was teaching, so it had to wait until 10am, and then they wanted to know why I left it so late – um… hello, I was teaching… anyway, yes, the money was missing from my account, yes they stopped my card and ordered an emergency replacement for me… yes it could take them up to 60 days or more to replace the money in my account – which isn't very helpful to me /at/ all. The only positive in this, I suppose, is that with all the troubles, my bank has processes for these things, and has promised to replace any money unlawfully taken from me… eventually.
That dealt with as much as I could for today, my heart turned back to the support and love for my guy, who started at her new school today. Lunch time arrived, and as soon as I got rid of the munchkins into the dining hall, I grabbed my cell phone and sent her a text message, of my hopes for a good first day. I wanted her to know that I was thinking of her. I spent most of the afternoon wondering how it was going, sending good vibes, trying to be as 'with' her as I could. I got to speak to her on her lunch break, and it was so good to hear her voice, even though the news we were sharing was not the kind of news we would both have wanted to share, just… hearing her voice was /everything/.
