*Hormonal Vampires

[cedar_grove]

Gray-eyed one, I sing of you, wisest and most beauitful, relentless Athena, protector of cities, strong-armed and fair. From his head the great god birthed you, dressed in golden armor and bearing a sharp spear. The holy mountains shook when you were born, and the earth quaked, and the sea's dark waves broke against the land. Even the sun stopped in astonishment at this sight, this goddess, fresh-born and strong. Hail to you, Athena, my I never live without the shield of your protection.

--Homeric hymn to Athena.

To live in her image is to live fully but safely, to be generous but not exhausted, to have enough both for ourselves and to share with those who merit it.

I woke this morning feeling a little low. There was no reason for this that I could fathom, even after a long self examination. Yes there have been stresses at work, but the week has ended and I have survived it reasonably well. Personally I am able to speak with and spend time with Mir once again, making the best of what we can with the distance between us, and we're getting a few things done, we're getting a few plans made, and I'm looking forward to the future and to the time we can spend together again that's coming up. So no, no reason I could think of for feeling low and ill at ease, and headachey when I woke.

So I must turn myself today to Athena, to crave her wisdom and protection, to ask her help in understanding from where these feelings come... without of course overlooking the obviousn answer of it being hormonal. The signs of that are there in and of themselves, but... who wants to admit to being driven merely by the chemicals (albeit natural ones) that are flowing through their body?)

Another less obvious answer is that I'm finding that one of my closest friends here is adding to my stresses. Don't get me wrong, I love her to pieces, and I know I can count on her for help when I need it and can go to her with any problem I might have, and she'll probably be able to point me in the right direction to find the answer, but... lately she's become so... 'flappy' and intense. I know she's got a lot going on in her personal life, which isn't mind to talk about, but I see it spilling over into work, where she's just suddenly become almost a nightmare of 'this is what we're going to do and this is how we're going to do it and that's it, right?' and walking away before you even have a chance to understand what it is she's talking about, and for that to be coming from a team leader, it's not very helpful. And in personal relationships she's become very short and distracted too - understandable with what's going on in her life - but it kind of leeches out the energy. I want to be able to be supportive, but she tires me out. It wasn't until I sat down and thought about how I'm feeling that I realised this... and realised that I don't really know how to deal with it.

Comments

[mirrani.livejournal.com]

Typically you deal with those kinds of things by /talking/.