To Realise is Not Enough
Nov. 29th, 2011 08:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
We'd all like a guarantee before making a decision or taking a risk, but the irony is that taking the risk is what opens us to our fate.
(Once more I make apologies for the spam, I'm trying to catch up from when I didn't have internet access).
Sunday 20th
Today was my first day with my class all by myself – the 'handover' period has finished. I have absolutely no doubt at all that I can manage the class – in a lot of ways this is the easy part. I do have to pull them out of the shadow of having had 2 teachers before me... which feels a little bit strange, but already I can see what needs to be done... what changes need to be made – and they of course must be done gradually so as not to overwhelm the children.
There's the other shadow that I really really need to come out from under. The decision to come here was a hard one, in spite of the fact that I knew it was a wonderful 'door opening' opportunity, and on the financial side of things it is very much needed, but there was a whole lot of fears that clouded the issues, the biggest of which is being much further away from Mir. I've been falling under those fears, allowing myself to be consumed by them, and it's doing no one any good, because I've lost the positive in everything by becoming focussed on those fears.
I need to remember that this opportunity was a gift from the Universe. I started opening to the things I was, and the things I did that made me me, and the chance of work, and income and a path toward the future was opened to me... If I give in to the fear and shut down again as I have, push everything away – how is that taking those steps into a brighter future? It isn't, is it? I've been stupid. Realising it is just the first step... now I need to act on the realisation.
The moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too. All sorts of things
occur to help one that would never otherwise
have occured. A whole stream of events issues
from the decision which no one could have
dreamed would have come their way.
--W.H.Murray
We'd all like a guarantee before making a decision or taking a risk, but the irony is that taking the risk is what opens us to our fate.
(Once more I make apologies for the spam, I'm trying to catch up from when I didn't have internet access).
Sunday 20th
Today was my first day with my class all by myself – the 'handover' period has finished. I have absolutely no doubt at all that I can manage the class – in a lot of ways this is the easy part. I do have to pull them out of the shadow of having had 2 teachers before me... which feels a little bit strange, but already I can see what needs to be done... what changes need to be made – and they of course must be done gradually so as not to overwhelm the children.
There's the other shadow that I really really need to come out from under. The decision to come here was a hard one, in spite of the fact that I knew it was a wonderful 'door opening' opportunity, and on the financial side of things it is very much needed, but there was a whole lot of fears that clouded the issues, the biggest of which is being much further away from Mir. I've been falling under those fears, allowing myself to be consumed by them, and it's doing no one any good, because I've lost the positive in everything by becoming focussed on those fears.
I need to remember that this opportunity was a gift from the Universe. I started opening to the things I was, and the things I did that made me me, and the chance of work, and income and a path toward the future was opened to me... If I give in to the fear and shut down again as I have, push everything away – how is that taking those steps into a brighter future? It isn't, is it? I've been stupid. Realising it is just the first step... now I need to act on the realisation.
