Do I Not Bleed?
Oct. 27th, 2011 08:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
We are so quick to condemn this or exile that, to ostracize the breaker of promises, when the truth is that nothing in nature arrives as imagined. In fact, because the space between what we intend and what we do is often great, we keep beginning.
It is a sad state of affairs when someone's peace of mind, someone's efforts and honest actions in respect of their intentions and promises go unheeded because, as outsiders, we /are/ so quick to condemn our fellow person.
After coming home today, I sat down with all the job listings that I could find, both online and off, and applied for many, many jobs… positions in areas I would not normal have considered, where I know the work is going to be hard because of the nature of the families whose children go to those schools; positions that I know are not going to necessarily make me feel happy and fulfilled, but they are positions all the same – available jobs that I can apply for, so I did.
I also sent my resume to many schools on the e-teach website who had no positions currently but wanted staff to keep on file for future references – and there were many of those… recruitment moving in different ways these days it seems.
I should feel accomplished, working so hard to do what I have set out to do and find work for the rest of the academic year, but – much as I know I've worked my ass off today, and every day for the last week or so to get my details out there and my name being heard in recruitment circles, I still don't feel I have done well enough. I still do not feel good enough, why?
…because other people have implied and also said so.
No one lands where they aim.
Not even God.
We are so quick to condemn this or exile that, to ostracize the breaker of promises, when the truth is that nothing in nature arrives as imagined. In fact, because the space between what we intend and what we do is often great, we keep beginning.
It is a sad state of affairs when someone's peace of mind, someone's efforts and honest actions in respect of their intentions and promises go unheeded because, as outsiders, we /are/ so quick to condemn our fellow person.
After coming home today, I sat down with all the job listings that I could find, both online and off, and applied for many, many jobs… positions in areas I would not normal have considered, where I know the work is going to be hard because of the nature of the families whose children go to those schools; positions that I know are not going to necessarily make me feel happy and fulfilled, but they are positions all the same – available jobs that I can apply for, so I did.
I also sent my resume to many schools on the e-teach website who had no positions currently but wanted staff to keep on file for future references – and there were many of those… recruitment moving in different ways these days it seems.
I should feel accomplished, working so hard to do what I have set out to do and find work for the rest of the academic year, but – much as I know I've worked my ass off today, and every day for the last week or so to get my details out there and my name being heard in recruitment circles, I still don't feel I have done well enough. I still do not feel good enough, why?
…because other people have implied and also said so.
