I Don't Bite - That's Maybe the Problem.
Oct. 24th, 2011 11:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
…but it gives me comfort that our failures – our unexpected stumbling – are the very human paste from which we are made sweet.
They are if we'd learn from them I guess… which would be nice. When we don't we're made anything but sweet. I like to think that I'm an understanding and a patient person, and not just because I've always gone out of my way to avoid conflict, but because that's the way I want to be – when I look at others, that is what I'd like them to see, to know is a part of me.
For the most part, most days, I think I manage pretty well – and I manage to do so without any expectation of praise or even open recognition, but every now and again, a nod… or a wink… or something might be preferable to being treated like I haven't said anything, haven't done anything or like I'm a piece of crap on the bottom of someone's shoe.
I've been told I'm a master at 'turning the other cheek' by some, by others that I don't stick up for myself enough – Mir is the most vocal in this respect, and I think I would do so more if it didn't feel to me like, in sticking up for myself, that I was 'attacking' others. I think that's my failure – want to learn how to patiently stick up for myself… keep the sweetness.
Nothing serious that kindled this line of thought, just one too many people snapping at me one too many times about one too many things… and me being too damn sensitive.
Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt – marvelous error! –
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.
--Antonio Machado
…but it gives me comfort that our failures – our unexpected stumbling – are the very human paste from which we are made sweet.
They are if we'd learn from them I guess… which would be nice. When we don't we're made anything but sweet. I like to think that I'm an understanding and a patient person, and not just because I've always gone out of my way to avoid conflict, but because that's the way I want to be – when I look at others, that is what I'd like them to see, to know is a part of me.
For the most part, most days, I think I manage pretty well – and I manage to do so without any expectation of praise or even open recognition, but every now and again, a nod… or a wink… or something might be preferable to being treated like I haven't said anything, haven't done anything or like I'm a piece of crap on the bottom of someone's shoe.
I've been told I'm a master at 'turning the other cheek' by some, by others that I don't stick up for myself enough – Mir is the most vocal in this respect, and I think I would do so more if it didn't feel to me like, in sticking up for myself, that I was 'attacking' others. I think that's my failure – want to learn how to patiently stick up for myself… keep the sweetness.
Nothing serious that kindled this line of thought, just one too many people snapping at me one too many times about one too many things… and me being too damn sensitive.
