![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
…we look deeply on each other, and you accept my flaws, but not my behaviour, and I am grateful for the chance to work on myself. [Somehow], it all brings us closer.
I love working through the readings in this book – honestly, I do… though sometimes it feels that we revisit many things over and over again. Perhaps I need that, maybe… to make me remember intentions and affirmations that I've made to myself… but honestly sometimes feels like a slap in the face and at least for now, I can do without any more of those thank you very much.
From learning my flaws and my failures, from having the mirror held up to my face, as well as these and other softly, and not so softly whispered reminders, I'm feeling a little bit punch-drunk… and more than a little cut off from love and protection than in truth I know I am… so I pray, Universe, please go gentle just for a little while… because even though that which does not kill me… I might just end up a shattered wreck on the ground, and I'm certain that's not the object of the exercise, even though it's easier to rebuild the jigsaw of self when it's already in pieces. I'm not asking to be coddled, or lied to… just a little compassion perhaps – a chance to breathe, so that I can regain my balance, find myself and my way once more, and live under the tenants of Unconditional Love.
I've been shut down for so long, it was only the other day, when Mir and I were talking about how I used to be as compared with how I am now, that I realised how much. Sure I felt cut off from the 'way of life' (I won't just call it my 'faith' because it's more than that) that I was living, and yes, I internalised comments that were simply 'comments' or others opening themselves, and feeling criticised by everything around me. That's a fault or flaw that I'm still working on, and it will take a while, I know… but I will get there. I just need a little strength first… because right at the moment, the 'gas tank' is approaching E… and my vehicle has dinged.
Unconditional love is not so much about how we receive and endure each other, as it is about the deep vow to never, under any condition, stop bringing the flawed truth of who we are to each other.
…we look deeply on each other, and you accept my flaws, but not my behaviour, and I am grateful for the chance to work on myself. [Somehow], it all brings us closer.
I love working through the readings in this book – honestly, I do… though sometimes it feels that we revisit many things over and over again. Perhaps I need that, maybe… to make me remember intentions and affirmations that I've made to myself… but honestly sometimes feels like a slap in the face and at least for now, I can do without any more of those thank you very much.
From learning my flaws and my failures, from having the mirror held up to my face, as well as these and other softly, and not so softly whispered reminders, I'm feeling a little bit punch-drunk… and more than a little cut off from love and protection than in truth I know I am… so I pray, Universe, please go gentle just for a little while… because even though that which does not kill me… I might just end up a shattered wreck on the ground, and I'm certain that's not the object of the exercise, even though it's easier to rebuild the jigsaw of self when it's already in pieces. I'm not asking to be coddled, or lied to… just a little compassion perhaps – a chance to breathe, so that I can regain my balance, find myself and my way once more, and live under the tenants of Unconditional Love.
I've been shut down for so long, it was only the other day, when Mir and I were talking about how I used to be as compared with how I am now, that I realised how much. Sure I felt cut off from the 'way of life' (I won't just call it my 'faith' because it's more than that) that I was living, and yes, I internalised comments that were simply 'comments' or others opening themselves, and feeling criticised by everything around me. That's a fault or flaw that I'm still working on, and it will take a while, I know… but I will get there. I just need a little strength first… because right at the moment, the 'gas tank' is approaching E… and my vehicle has dinged.
