![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
it is imperative that we find that vital element that brings us alive.
Talking with Mir the other day, she brought up something that I have been thinking of on and off for quite some time now, and a part of me thinks she's right, and wonders where I lost the ability to be so free and fluid, and a part of me rebels against the thought and – probably because of environmental factors – tells me that focussing means that 'one thing' gets done better, and 'being free flowing' means that everything gets done in a kind of haphazard way. I don't know which is right, but I do know which feels 'better' and by that I mean more comfortable.
It's like today, for instance, when I want to be catching up on journal entries and other things I've fallen behind on, what I actually ended up doing was spending the better part of my available time doing nothing – playing a game – because I knew that any minute now I was going to get interrupted, so there's no point in starting something, right?
Well… the 'old' me would have just taken it all in her stride – started journaling, got up to help dad with the computer (even knowing that he doesn't listen half the time because 'he knows better') and then gone back to journaling when I wasn't needed, or when we were waiting on something to update or whatever… maybe with a little reading in between while my mind was working on what the entries meant to me. Instead I sat here getting frustrated at being constantly 'badgered' which meant I could get nothing done, so I play a silly game instead…
And yeah, nothing wrong with playing a game if you want to, right – but if you're playing it for the reasons I've just given, that's not good, least not in my book. So… how do I go back to being the free flowing, warm, energetic person that I was (and I hope still am, somewhere inside)… or is this all just a symptom of getting older… because some days I /do/ feel old?
A fish cannot drown in water.
A bird does not fall in air.
Each creature God made
must live in its own true nature.
--Mechthild of Magdeburg
it is imperative that we find that vital element that brings us alive.
Talking with Mir the other day, she brought up something that I have been thinking of on and off for quite some time now, and a part of me thinks she's right, and wonders where I lost the ability to be so free and fluid, and a part of me rebels against the thought and – probably because of environmental factors – tells me that focussing means that 'one thing' gets done better, and 'being free flowing' means that everything gets done in a kind of haphazard way. I don't know which is right, but I do know which feels 'better' and by that I mean more comfortable.
It's like today, for instance, when I want to be catching up on journal entries and other things I've fallen behind on, what I actually ended up doing was spending the better part of my available time doing nothing – playing a game – because I knew that any minute now I was going to get interrupted, so there's no point in starting something, right?
Well… the 'old' me would have just taken it all in her stride – started journaling, got up to help dad with the computer (even knowing that he doesn't listen half the time because 'he knows better') and then gone back to journaling when I wasn't needed, or when we were waiting on something to update or whatever… maybe with a little reading in between while my mind was working on what the entries meant to me. Instead I sat here getting frustrated at being constantly 'badgered' which meant I could get nothing done, so I play a silly game instead…
And yeah, nothing wrong with playing a game if you want to, right – but if you're playing it for the reasons I've just given, that's not good, least not in my book. So… how do I go back to being the free flowing, warm, energetic person that I was (and I hope still am, somewhere inside)… or is this all just a symptom of getting older… because some days I /do/ feel old?
