A Week Fighting Misfortune
Jul. 2nd, 2011 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
No matter how we feel in any one moment, we are not just our feelings, our roles, our traumas… It is a very human way, to be consumed by what moves through us.
By Tuesday of this past week I felt like I had fallen into a deep void. I wasn't sleeping because I was worrying the whole time. Running possibilities through my head, working out the what and the where and the how…
Except for those times when I we sharing time with Mir, I don't think I smiled very much at all this week. And the exhaustion has been hard to deal with. Falling asleep on the bus on the way from work has been the pattern, and it's actually been quite an uncomfortable feeling.
Rather frustrating too, sometimes, when all I could do was come home and if I sat down for even more than a few minutes in the quiet I would fall asleep, getting nothing done, and then of course I ended up feeling kind of useless and worthless. I know I'm not, and I know none of what happened, strictly speaking, is my fault, but in all of the worry of it all, it has been all too easy to 'become' the feelings I was feeling.
Discernment is a process of letting go
of what we are not.
--Father Thomas Keating
No matter how we feel in any one moment, we are not just our feelings, our roles, our traumas… It is a very human way, to be consumed by what moves through us.
By Tuesday of this past week I felt like I had fallen into a deep void. I wasn't sleeping because I was worrying the whole time. Running possibilities through my head, working out the what and the where and the how…
Except for those times when I we sharing time with Mir, I don't think I smiled very much at all this week. And the exhaustion has been hard to deal with. Falling asleep on the bus on the way from work has been the pattern, and it's actually been quite an uncomfortable feeling.
Rather frustrating too, sometimes, when all I could do was come home and if I sat down for even more than a few minutes in the quiet I would fall asleep, getting nothing done, and then of course I ended up feeling kind of useless and worthless. I know I'm not, and I know none of what happened, strictly speaking, is my fault, but in all of the worry of it all, it has been all too easy to 'become' the feelings I was feeling.
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