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cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
I rolled [the twig] in my hand and thought of all the times I've laboured, trying to make things too big fit.
someone told me yesterday that they worried about me because I seemed 'stifled' (her word not mine)
I was surprised - well more than that, shocked. I hadn't actually felt that way. I dismissed it, but of course ended up thinking about it... worrying.
It's only today - after the events of the last few days and thinking back... examining my own behaviour and attitude that I remember that there was something I hadn't taken into consideration.
Last Saturday: Bealtainne, I rededicated myself, and for the last few weeks I've been meditating - both of these are something that I've not done in a long time. Far too long... and it's going to take a while for the energies and things inside of me to settle - to find an even keep again. While all that's going on I can expect to be unsettled - all over the place.
And stifled? Well yes of course in a way. Think of the buttterfly inside her cocoon, all crushed together - mushed together - transformation taking place from lowly catterpillar to beautiful creature of the air and sky.
Putting that in my human perspective, I'm still there in a cocoon of my own - or in a nest of my own, trying to make all of every twig fit, big or small, fat or thin, whatever you'd like to say; learning over again what things fit and harmonise and how to leave those thing that don't where they fall without stubbornly bemoaning or mourning that they won't.
It's not meant as an excuse. It may not even be all of the reason. It is simply the truth.
I think I could turn and live with animals. They do not sweat and whine about their condition. Not one is dissatisfied.
--Walt Whitman
I rolled [the twig] in my hand and thought of all the times I've laboured, trying to make things too big fit.
someone told me yesterday that they worried about me because I seemed 'stifled' (her word not mine)
I was surprised - well more than that, shocked. I hadn't actually felt that way. I dismissed it, but of course ended up thinking about it... worrying.
It's only today - after the events of the last few days and thinking back... examining my own behaviour and attitude that I remember that there was something I hadn't taken into consideration.
Last Saturday: Bealtainne, I rededicated myself, and for the last few weeks I've been meditating - both of these are something that I've not done in a long time. Far too long... and it's going to take a while for the energies and things inside of me to settle - to find an even keep again. While all that's going on I can expect to be unsettled - all over the place.
And stifled? Well yes of course in a way. Think of the buttterfly inside her cocoon, all crushed together - mushed together - transformation taking place from lowly catterpillar to beautiful creature of the air and sky.
Putting that in my human perspective, I'm still there in a cocoon of my own - or in a nest of my own, trying to make all of every twig fit, big or small, fat or thin, whatever you'd like to say; learning over again what things fit and harmonise and how to leave those thing that don't where they fall without stubbornly bemoaning or mourning that they won't.
It's not meant as an excuse. It may not even be all of the reason. It is simply the truth.
