Walking On An Ocean of Feelings
Mar. 13th, 2011 04:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
We can learn from the leaves that ducks swim around. In life as in water, when we curl up or flail we sink. When we spread and go still, we are carried by the largest sea of all: the sea of grace that flows steadily beneath the turmoil of events. And just as fish can't see the ocean they live in, we can't quite see the spirit that sustains us.
Again and again, the onset of pain makes us clutch and sink. But life has taught me that how we first open after doubling over is crucial to whether we will heal at all.
It isn't just the how though, it's the when as well, that makes the difference, and I've come to the conclusion that it's my sense of timing that sucks.
People say things, or things happen that cause me pain... and I clench, and I flail... (and I sink deeper into the prison of my own making). Lately I've been trying to open up... and by lately I mean that it's been going on a lot longer than I and many other people realise or acknowledge - the problem is that my timing, (the choice of when I will open up to the pain and share it, allow it to be seen and heard and everything else), is just terrible. Trouble is, I don't know a way around that, so I guess people are just going to have to acccept that as the way it is.
So, friends and loved ones, you either want to hear the way I feel or you don't, and if my timing doesn't suit, I'm sorry for that, there is little I can do. I can try and wait until the moment when you are not hurting, or when you have time to listen, but then the moment has passed, the feeling is cold, and isn't relevant any more.
Once a man was about to cross the sea. A wise man tried a leaf in a corner of his robe and said to him: "Don't be afraid. Have faith and walk on the water. But look here-the moment you lose faith you will drown."
-Sri Ramakarishna
We can learn from the leaves that ducks swim around. In life as in water, when we curl up or flail we sink. When we spread and go still, we are carried by the largest sea of all: the sea of grace that flows steadily beneath the turmoil of events. And just as fish can't see the ocean they live in, we can't quite see the spirit that sustains us.
Again and again, the onset of pain makes us clutch and sink. But life has taught me that how we first open after doubling over is crucial to whether we will heal at all.
It isn't just the how though, it's the when as well, that makes the difference, and I've come to the conclusion that it's my sense of timing that sucks.
People say things, or things happen that cause me pain... and I clench, and I flail... (and I sink deeper into the prison of my own making). Lately I've been trying to open up... and by lately I mean that it's been going on a lot longer than I and many other people realise or acknowledge - the problem is that my timing, (the choice of when I will open up to the pain and share it, allow it to be seen and heard and everything else), is just terrible. Trouble is, I don't know a way around that, so I guess people are just going to have to acccept that as the way it is.
So, friends and loved ones, you either want to hear the way I feel or you don't, and if my timing doesn't suit, I'm sorry for that, there is little I can do. I can try and wait until the moment when you are not hurting, or when you have time to listen, but then the moment has passed, the feeling is cold, and isn't relevant any more.
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?
Date: 2011-03-13 05:18 pm (UTC)Re: ?
Date: 2011-03-13 05:24 pm (UTC)(And I'm anxious because the Tar Heels are playing Duke for the ACC basketball championship as we speak).