Eyes Open

In a red-gold chair sat a woman. To stare into the sun would be less difficult than to stare at her brilliance. A white silk gown clothed her, fastened with red gold. On her shoulder sat a mantle of such brocade as cannot be described, all woven with gold and jewels and fastened with a brooch of gold. Her hair was dressed with rubies and pearls and gold. And all of this was just a reflection of her inner brilliance.

--The Dream of Maxen, in the Welsh Mabinogian

We are born into bodies that sense and respond to our world. Let yourself become a vessel of the power of the goddess, acknowledging the beauty she has created.

As I write this I am by candlelight on the second night of my sleeping in the nest I have made of my couch. It surprises me how much more I can hear of the outside from this room than I can from the bedroom. There are the usual dogs and cats - many of them, because for the most part they are left to roam the streets, even after their owners return home. But there are also other things. There is at least one hawk that lives around here somewhere, and hunts from the buildings around where I live.

Being able to hear so much has reminded me how little I hear and see most of the time. How I had fallen prey to being desensitised to the world around me. So from today I will open my eyes and ears, wil be the vessel of the goddess who does not walk past all things without notice.

Perhaps I should take a leaf from Mir's book and carry round a little note pad with me, note the things I see as I go around - let them inspire me. Or perhaps I should go and spend a half hour or so outside on the green every now and then (when the sprinklers aren't going that is.)

I feel more alive now, at least. Not just today - but since I started to clear away the clouds of negativity that was separating me from enjoyment of everything. I notice the warmth around me... sometimes the wildlife... like these massive ants, the biggest I've seen. There are birds too, like the hawk here, and the lapwing at school - those I suppose I notice because they're so different what I'm used to seeing that I'm keyed into them, whereas other, more familiar things don't automatically register... their appeal is hidden behind layers of blindness and taking things for granted. I want to change that, to begin to feel a little bit more in tune with life outside of myself and these four walls.