Old Fashioned Love and Cheesy Ads

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

Like the moon,
come out from behind
the clouds! And shine!

--Buddha

When I think of those who've taught me how to love, moments come to mind, not words.

Speaking of universal love, and love of family, not necessarily romantic love here, because – what I can remember of romantic love, Gran was always screaming at Granddad… no fault of her own, it was just her age, you know…? But in other ways, I'd say my paternal grandmother is the one person from whom moments of the kind of closeness and love of a familial and universal love combine in one.

We used to spend almost all of the school summer holidays with my grandparents, because they retired to the coast, and well, what child doesn't want to live at the seaside for the summer, right? As such, it was my grandmother that first really noticed my coming to maturity, and who took care of me in that regard. It sticks in my mind because she was always so terribly proper, and so terribly polite about all those kinds of things, so… when she said she had noticed, and would I like her to take me to the pharmacy for supplies, it just stuck in my mind. What I remember most, I think is her telling me a list of the things I would need (and the 'older ladies' among us may or may not remember such things), she was talking about things like belts and loops and things… I looked at her nonplussed and told her of the wonders of 'self adhesive' and she being quite astounded in a kind of 'whatever will they think of next' kind of thing. I loved her for it all the same. It was a special, bonding moment.

On an entirely different note – and not at all what Buddha intended I'm sure, but right now my 'love' goes out to Priceline, who managed to find me a fantastically priced flight for the last leg of my grand adventure to get to NC this year. LOL Mr. Shatner may make cheese ads, but the service is second to none. Who cares if I have to get from JFK to LaGuadia (the shuttle bus is only $12 and leaves every 30 mins), the whole round trip flight is only slightly more expensive than a one way bus ride!

It's About Personalising Again

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

When under, remember the surface.
When on the surface, remember the deep.

Our challenge is to remember that the wave is not the sea.

This is something that I'm slowly coming to grips with… this is something that is a constant and total fear for me, not because of where I am now, but because of where I have been. When someone gets angry and frustrated, even if it is not at me, I will personalise and internalise it until I end up chasing my tail and making myself quite ill. When someone is frustrated and angry at me – you can forget it. I will go into full on self destruct mode… unless I catch myself first.

As such I often make mountains out of mole hills as the saying goes, make a big deal out of the odd cross word of frustration or whatever other motivation. I'm getting better at not doing that, I think, but I'd still say I have a long way to go. I still take things too personally sometimes, unless I really work on not doing that, and not getting offended… and I worry sometimes that things that have nothing to do with me are all my fault.

Creepy Crawlies

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

Who sees all beings in his own Self
and his own Self in all beings,
loses all fear.
--The Isa Upanishad

If we could only see the bee, or the bird, or our enemy as a brief living center like ourselves, we could let them go on their way without pulling us into opposition.

I totally get the sentiment that the author meant when he talked about the yellow jacket and the impulse he used to have, because of his mother, to swat the little buggers whenever they came near, and also that this wasn't really the point of what he was saying – he wasn't espousing the yellow-jacket's right to life and all that, just the view that we shouldn't really see ourselves in opposition to any living creature, but for me this entry has a totally other meaning right now.

About to head out to NC, I'm getting ready to face a few things – some, I will confess with a can of Raid in my hand, (or a big rolled up newspaper). The spiders have to go. There are no two ways about it. I will not have my guy being uncomfortable with them being around. Mir makes no secret of the fact that she is scared of spiders, so it's my job to rid the house of them wherever and whenever I find them, their cobwebs too, and I don't at all mind doing it.

For myself, though, two big 'fears' if you like make some of the things I want for us to do while I'm there a daunting thought. First of all there are the stinging things. They are 'bigger' and 'better' than our weedy little yellow jackets over here in the UK… and being allergic to stings, I'll run if a buzzing thing buzzes near me – and if I'm by myself, it has to be the Raid. The other thing that really really makes my flesh creep, just the thought of them, are the deer ticks. It's not just the fact of the diseases they carry, just… ugh! I can't even…

Anyway – I want to be able to lie in the hammock, or in the grass with Mir as we read together, and spend long summer days outside on the weekend and in the evenings. We can keep the mosquitoes at bay with the 'Off' lamps, but what about those pesky ticks? It's the one and only thing I'm really going to have to work on, because those long summer days are for being out in the fresh air!