cedar_grove | She Bids Us Remember... (Reply)

O Mary we crown thee with blossoms today,
Queen of the angels, Queen of the May.
O Mary we crown thee with blossoms today,
Queen of the angels, Queen of the May.

--Catholic song to the Virgin on May Day

With the coming of Christianity, the old festival was discouraged, especially in the light of its highly sexual content... But the ancient symbolism held fast, though hidden...

As I was reading through this meditation guidance, and thinking on the festival of Bealtainne, I could not help but bring to mind last year (2011). We were sitting outside, Mir and I, with a fire in the old fire pit, when suddenly something Mir said made me realise that it was Bealtainne, we had a fire, and I could darn well jump it if I liked. Then again, I also remembered earlier in this year, when Mir and I had to get the new, metal, fire pit, because the old one finally broke. I remember sitting there with the new pit and thinking what it would be like to try jumping the fire over that one. I don't know why I should have thought that, but I distinctly remember the thought.

Fire and sexuality always go hand in hand for me. A bit of a chicken and egg question really is: which came first, my paganism or my association with fire and shared intimacy. Even I'm not sure, but definitely - each goes hand in hand with the other.

I guess I've digressed a little bit... as the initial quote was about how Christianity subsumed and then sanitised the Old Ways - the Old Festivals and the Old Gods. And it got me to thinking about impossible to answer questions... why is it that we, as a people, are so afraid of our own sexuality - afraid of it to such an extent that we use it, and allow it to be used against us, as a weapon? Why should it be wrong for such a devotional practise, (and I've spoken elsewhere in this journal about the sanctity of sexual intimacy, to be a part of faith, worship and the mythology of any religion, be that Christianity or any other for that matter? Why view Jesus, God, etc. as sexless and make the intimate sharing of ones body with another whom you love into something dirty, something that should be considered wrong - to be hidden away at all costs? It's very hurtful, to think about it logically, to reject something as life affirming as sexuality. After all, what brings new life if not the union of the masculine in nature, with the feminine, male and female, man and woman? Hurtful and confusing.

I know the simple answer to the question is, of course, control. For a church (or religious institution/body if you'd rather), to say how, and with whom on may legitimately share oneself gives that body an enormous amount of power over the individual, and the family, and thus the community - so I suppose that answers my questions quite admirably really... but I think there is more to it than just that, or else the Goddess lore, the old thoughts and symbols that have survived, albeit disguised, would not have done so, and we would all be living in a sexless world. But survive they had, deep in our innermost hearts, we recognise the sacredness of sex, and cling to that apron string of our Eternal Mother who bids us remember from whence we came.