Prayer, Hope and Truth

[cedar_grove]

Do notthink of Vesta
as anything other than
fire, the living flame
which gives birthto nothing
but itselfagain.
Thus we call her virgin
for she is never seeded
nor does she bear fruit.
And oh! she loves her maidens,
companions in virginity

--Ovid, Fasti

We can wait, and watch and pray. And hope, and trust in the great truth of nature: that change is inevitable...

In the spirit of embracing the change back to what was once lost, I spent my lunch break yesterday writing the outstanding book reviews that have been outstanding since the beginning of the year, and maybe since before then, though I'm not entirely sure. I have one left to do, the one for the book about a hybrid disease that made people more than they were as mere humans, and of course such thoughts brought me inevitably to thoughts of Stargate Atlantis - and from there to writing - and from there to thoughts of all the plans I had for what was going to happen by the end of last year in terms of Use'ara. Published by Christmas 2011? Yeah - never happened... and 2012 is going to be pushing it. Why? To say that I'm suffering a writer's block is an excuse, but right now, my creativity is shot.

It's not for want of wanting to write. I sit down most days with good intentions, open the document... and sit... and sit... and sit and nothing comes, but boy do I every want it to. Boy do I ever miss writing. I want to be able to - I want to reengage with all of the amazing exersises and assignments that Mir sent to me, out of which came all manner of wonderful creativity, and to do the same for her, to share that with her again. I want to finish the novels, I want to finish the mummy stories, and I want to finish the Stargate stuff.

Yet I sit down to write, and I just haven't the heart. The creativity is stilted, the words are forced and that just depresses me more.