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cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
We are beautifully limited creatures, capable of great moments of full living, but we can't have it all or experience it all.
I finally gave in to being sick today and all but for about 4 or 5 hours, and just now (though I'm on the couch under a blanket right now), I stayed in bed, on and off sleeping and reading.
When I got up it was to make my dinner and eat. I put on the TV. All I could think about was Mir and wanting to be at home snuggled with her. It wasn't necessarily about wanting to be looked after but more just wanting and needing to be with her very badly. So the new movie started and it was Dinosaurs... which made me think of Mir even more. I know I've seen the movie before, but it was a long time ago. I brought my dinner to the couch and stayed up to watch the movie before going back to bed, and cried, and sobbed like a baby on and off all the way through it.
Afterwards I went back to bed... slept some more, woke up and read a little bit more of the book – poor Shar, to lose his mother, to have his home attacked. And the poor Vulcans too... had to stop reading, partly because it was upsetting, but partly because I sensed that the reveal (that I, in my thickness have so far missed) was coming, and I had promised Mir that I would read that part when she was around so that she could see my "doh!" moment. So I settled down again to sleep more, and had a ridiculous dream about some theme park... and not fitting on the rides because my body was too big, and then being compensated for that by being put in a little room with lots of VIP patrons, and fed on fries and fish-cakes that were in the shape of fish. I woke up from that just a little bit ago, and decided to move to the couch under a blanket once more.
A change of scene... and looking forward to being able to spend time with Mir online when she gets home. My countdown has six more big ducks.
If you come to a fork in the road,
take it.
--Yogi Berra
We are beautifully limited creatures, capable of great moments of full living, but we can't have it all or experience it all.
I finally gave in to being sick today and all but for about 4 or 5 hours, and just now (though I'm on the couch under a blanket right now), I stayed in bed, on and off sleeping and reading.
When I got up it was to make my dinner and eat. I put on the TV. All I could think about was Mir and wanting to be at home snuggled with her. It wasn't necessarily about wanting to be looked after but more just wanting and needing to be with her very badly. So the new movie started and it was Dinosaurs... which made me think of Mir even more. I know I've seen the movie before, but it was a long time ago. I brought my dinner to the couch and stayed up to watch the movie before going back to bed, and cried, and sobbed like a baby on and off all the way through it.
Afterwards I went back to bed... slept some more, woke up and read a little bit more of the book – poor Shar, to lose his mother, to have his home attacked. And the poor Vulcans too... had to stop reading, partly because it was upsetting, but partly because I sensed that the reveal (that I, in my thickness have so far missed) was coming, and I had promised Mir that I would read that part when she was around so that she could see my "doh!" moment. So I settled down again to sleep more, and had a ridiculous dream about some theme park... and not fitting on the rides because my body was too big, and then being compensated for that by being put in a little room with lots of VIP patrons, and fed on fries and fish-cakes that were in the shape of fish. I woke up from that just a little bit ago, and decided to move to the couch under a blanket once more.
A change of scene... and looking forward to being able to spend time with Mir online when she gets home. My countdown has six more big ducks.
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no subject
Date: 2011-12-18 05:43 am (UTC)Did I miss something about an old movie? I guess that was what was on when you put the TV on?
And you never did wait for me to be online for the big reveal, you know. You just kept reading and then told me you got there as an afterthought. That's okay, it's not like it was something I'd been bugging you to do or teasing you about or anything.