Pain and Truth
Oct. 21st, 2011 04:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
We can only hope to begin this exchange today, now, by forgiving what's broken in each other and imagining through love how these holy pieces go together.
Isn't that what unconditional love is all about. Seeing others, even with their faults and brokenness and loving them anyway no matter how that 'brokenness' might affect you, and trusting them to do the same even with all of your own brokenness? I always thought so… but along with this, honestly, I think there's a responsibility to speak of what you feel to each other – not with the object of changing the other person, and not with a 'see what you did to me' kind of mentality… but more like a 'this is how I feel.'
I'm the first to hold up my hand and say, I'm rubbish at this… that even when I'm trying to say 'this is how I feel' I have a job moving past or letting go of the fact that I hurt so even when I don't intend it to sound or feel that way, I end up making it sound and feel like an accusation. I wish I didn't… I can only be honest and say that's not my intention. Maybe I've been hurt one too many times to be able to let go of it enough, but whatever the truth is, I'm just trying to keep and honest and open exchange, even when I don't do things very well.
That's actually one of the reasons I sometimes find these things hard… this whole 'being honest about ourselves and our feelings,' vs. 'airing dirty laundry,' as it were. Being honest without something seeming harsh might be hard sometimes, but I'd rather be honest, while at the same time not wanting to seem like I'm always complaining, or always unhappy about something or another. I'm not (always unhappy/complaining), but I have to address what comes up in the particular postings for the day – the same as anyone working through this book does. (And I have to say at this point that people should… it's wonderful for self knowledge – so if you're not doing this, why not!) And a lot of the time because the entries are tackling things that people find difficult to cope with, the subject matter tends to be a little on the 'critical' side of things – this is something I've noticed… this is something I'd like to try and find a way to balance.
The pain was necessary to know the truth but we don't have to keep the pain alive to keep the truth alive.
We can only hope to begin this exchange today, now, by forgiving what's broken in each other and imagining through love how these holy pieces go together.
Isn't that what unconditional love is all about. Seeing others, even with their faults and brokenness and loving them anyway no matter how that 'brokenness' might affect you, and trusting them to do the same even with all of your own brokenness? I always thought so… but along with this, honestly, I think there's a responsibility to speak of what you feel to each other – not with the object of changing the other person, and not with a 'see what you did to me' kind of mentality… but more like a 'this is how I feel.'
I'm the first to hold up my hand and say, I'm rubbish at this… that even when I'm trying to say 'this is how I feel' I have a job moving past or letting go of the fact that I hurt so even when I don't intend it to sound or feel that way, I end up making it sound and feel like an accusation. I wish I didn't… I can only be honest and say that's not my intention. Maybe I've been hurt one too many times to be able to let go of it enough, but whatever the truth is, I'm just trying to keep and honest and open exchange, even when I don't do things very well.
That's actually one of the reasons I sometimes find these things hard… this whole 'being honest about ourselves and our feelings,' vs. 'airing dirty laundry,' as it were. Being honest without something seeming harsh might be hard sometimes, but I'd rather be honest, while at the same time not wanting to seem like I'm always complaining, or always unhappy about something or another. I'm not (always unhappy/complaining), but I have to address what comes up in the particular postings for the day – the same as anyone working through this book does. (And I have to say at this point that people should… it's wonderful for self knowledge – so if you're not doing this, why not!) And a lot of the time because the entries are tackling things that people find difficult to cope with, the subject matter tends to be a little on the 'critical' side of things – this is something I've noticed… this is something I'd like to try and find a way to balance.
