My Own Pace
Feb. 24th, 2011 02:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cedar_groveFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
The doorway to our next step of growth is always behind the urgency of now. Now more than ever, when all else feels urgent, you must cut the strings to all events. Now more than ever, when the weights you carry seem tied to your wrists, you must not run or flail. Now more than ever, when each decision feels like the end, you must believe that each question is a beginning. Now more than ever, when you fear the being who you are is a knife to those you love, you must be strong inside where no one has seen you, for loving from there can only make those you love grow. Now more than ever, when feeling that you are the source and recipient of all pain, you must bow your head till the ancient channel from sky to heart can reopen, till you remember that you are a blessed piece of spirit-dust in spirit-wind. Now more than ever, you must breathe till your ounce of breath becomes the sky, again and again.
I must confess, I feel a little at odds with today's thought/meditation.
I have always, and always will, take things at my own pace. Now, whether that pace is urgent, or laid back - however you want to put that - is often a product of many things, my mood, external and internal pressure etc. Travelling through life at my own pace often puts me at odds with people, either close friends, loved ones or on the other side of that, distant acquaintances - even those that contact me only for business purposes.
The bottom line is, I do, and will do, what I can, when I can do it, with whatever means are available to me in order to do whatever it is that must be done. Often that's not good enough, (especially for those business acquaintances), in a world where everything has to be right here, right now.
It's when I try to meet someone else's demands and time constraints that I trip up, make mistakes and fail badly, and my connection to self, and the wider universe suffers.
I've been accused of all kinds of things, including having no sense of priorities, being selfish, being uncaring, etc, and that's very hurtful. All I'm trying to do is to take life at a reasonable pace. That's not to say I can't or don't work to 'deadlines' I can and do, and manage myself and the tasks around me well - usually... but from the depths of a depression that I'm struggling against (and struggling to accept/recognise/admit), it's never easy to do, especially when people are pressuring me.
So... if I'm slow to get to something, don't assume it's because I don't want to do whatever it is, or that I'm not interested. If you ask me to do something, and I'm not doing it fast enough for you, I apologise, but that's just the way it is. Things rarely happen to 'my agenda' so at times when I can control what happens and when, that's just what I'm going to do... and usually, there are good reasons behind the time in which I choose to do things... even if you don't always see them.
When feeling urgent,
you must slow down.
The doorway to our next step of growth is always behind the urgency of now. Now more than ever, when all else feels urgent, you must cut the strings to all events. Now more than ever, when the weights you carry seem tied to your wrists, you must not run or flail. Now more than ever, when each decision feels like the end, you must believe that each question is a beginning. Now more than ever, when you fear the being who you are is a knife to those you love, you must be strong inside where no one has seen you, for loving from there can only make those you love grow. Now more than ever, when feeling that you are the source and recipient of all pain, you must bow your head till the ancient channel from sky to heart can reopen, till you remember that you are a blessed piece of spirit-dust in spirit-wind. Now more than ever, you must breathe till your ounce of breath becomes the sky, again and again.
I must confess, I feel a little at odds with today's thought/meditation.
I have always, and always will, take things at my own pace. Now, whether that pace is urgent, or laid back - however you want to put that - is often a product of many things, my mood, external and internal pressure etc. Travelling through life at my own pace often puts me at odds with people, either close friends, loved ones or on the other side of that, distant acquaintances - even those that contact me only for business purposes.
The bottom line is, I do, and will do, what I can, when I can do it, with whatever means are available to me in order to do whatever it is that must be done. Often that's not good enough, (especially for those business acquaintances), in a world where everything has to be right here, right now.
It's when I try to meet someone else's demands and time constraints that I trip up, make mistakes and fail badly, and my connection to self, and the wider universe suffers.
I've been accused of all kinds of things, including having no sense of priorities, being selfish, being uncaring, etc, and that's very hurtful. All I'm trying to do is to take life at a reasonable pace. That's not to say I can't or don't work to 'deadlines' I can and do, and manage myself and the tasks around me well - usually... but from the depths of a depression that I'm struggling against (and struggling to accept/recognise/admit), it's never easy to do, especially when people are pressuring me.
So... if I'm slow to get to something, don't assume it's because I don't want to do whatever it is, or that I'm not interested. If you ask me to do something, and I'm not doing it fast enough for you, I apologise, but that's just the way it is. Things rarely happen to 'my agenda' so at times when I can control what happens and when, that's just what I'm going to do... and usually, there are good reasons behind the time in which I choose to do things... even if you don't always see them.
