Inside I'm Smiling

Her thighs are large and firm
as an elephant's trunk, thick
and strong as a plantain tree,
vast pillars supporting her body.

Her lotus breasts are swee
with sandalwood perfume.
Her lotus breasts are sweet
with the faint traces of love.

The goddess is her own temple,
painted red and vast as an elephant
that rises steaming from its path
in waters flicked with foam.

--Indian Bhubaneshvari

Let us not fail to see any woman's connection to the goddess because of her color, her size, her shape, her strength, her age. There is something to praise in every woman. Let us unflinchingly praise the goddess in each other.

Physicality in an ideal world, wouldn't matter. But this is not an ideal world and it does matter. We're each of us continually bombarded with the image of the 'perfect' body - the perfect hair style, the perfect clothes, (even if our bodies are far from perfect), but it's not just that...

Appearence outside is more than just physical, it's emotional as well. I'm constantly told that I walk around with a face like a 'slapped fish' or words to that effect - don't really know what to say about that. I'm not unhappy all of the time, under normal circumstances at least, and if only I'd settle maybe some of the underlying stressed feeling would go away and I'd be able to smile more. I don't know. I'm not unhappy all of the time.

I try to behave as the goddess I should be - for those in my life, and I just keep falling so far off the mark I don't even know what I'm doing myself. Could I screw up any more? I have to ask myself that, but the more important questions are why can't I stop buggering up. What can I do to change things and make things right?

Even I'm tired of it, so I know others have got to be.