A Mother Figure

You are the glory of the city,
you are the joy of the nation,
you are the honor of the people.

You are all-beautiful, mother,
you are unstained and lovely,
you alone were born without fault.

You are the happiest of all mothers
and the most worthy of praise,
virgin, mother, queen, O Mary.

--Traditional prayer to the Virgin Mary

We can partake in this celebration by holding in our own hearts an image of a powerful and helpful mother figure, one who is unstained by the negativity in our culture toward the feminine principle.

I sat and I sat and I sat, trying to come up with an image of such a strong, powerful and helpful mother figure - and by that I mean a 'real' person, not just an image or 'imaginary figure' That's easy... that's the image of the goddess right there, and maybe that's enough. But then I started thinking, 'How sad - shouldn't the image of a mother figure be my own mother?'

It's ironic really because opening my Email later I had an Email from mom, just checking up because she hadn't heard from me in a while... wanting to make sure I"m okay. Yes, my mom is supportive, but in a rather strange sort of way.

First of all she's not the one to go to if you don't feel well - she doesn't do 'people being ill' very well at all, so forget the sympathy and the cuddling and the looking after. (I'm sorry to say that I think this has rubbed off on me too, I don't like that and must stop before it gets any worse). I'm not a sickly person - at least I don't think I am, though recently Mir has told me that I'm always sick... maybe I don't tell her enough the times I'm well, but anyway, when I'm feeling under the weather, when anyone is feeling that way it's natual to reach for mum... normall. Me, I reach for other people, first for my guy... then others - if there is anyone.

But we were talking about strong supportive women... mum, will tell it straight, but that's not always the way you want it... but it is strong and supportive. She's gotten to be more like that as she's gotten older, but, she's never been one to coddle or to take nonsense.... she has to put up with my dad after all. I don't know... I don't know what it is that made me not feel that - even now. Maybe it's that there's a certain air of being judgemental about, because that's there, and to me, that interrupts the 'being supportive' part. If you fear to be judged, you won't open up - won't say things, won't tell things, but other than that, I don't know what it is. Don't me wrong, I love her, and very much so... but when I close my eyes to see what is called upon in this meditation, it is not Mum I see... but the image, the goddess' strength.

So I think, is there anyone that I see as that supportive mother figure, and suppose that the closest I come is Lesley, an older friend from Leicester... but even then... and I wonder, is it a fault with me that I can see no one in this way, or is it something else? Food for thought, I suppose - if slightly uncomfortable.