Many Thoughts At Imbolc

Every day, every night
that I praise the goddess,
I know shall be safe:
I shall not be chased,
I shall not be caught,
I shall not be harmed.
Fire, sun, and moon
cannot burn me. Not
lake nor stream nor sea
can drown me. Fairy
arrow cannot pierce me.
I am safe, safe, safe,
sing her praises.

--The shield of Brigid, Irish prayer

Today we hope for more than just a good crop and no epidemics, good weather for the harvest and nothing to cripple our children. But is this not all we could hope for: enough to nourish us, both spiritually and physically, and people aorund us who love us?

One of the four major festivals is on us today, Imbolc, the first of spring in the old ways - or should I perhaps say a precursor to spring... the kindling of the new fire in the hearth, in the year.

That this prayer is for protection is not entirely lost on me either. Not that I feel unsafe, I hasten to add, not even at the sounds of distant gunfire... and yes, I hear it every now and again. Nor is the hopes of good health. Yesterday I started feeling unwell, and seem to have picked up whatever fluey bug is doing the rounds at school. New country, new germs... but yes, really not feeling happy. It will pass, like all things, and everything will be well again... and I'll be looking back on today wondering what all the fuss was about as the blanket of snowdrops heralds the coming of spring. I speak figuratively of course. I don't think they have snowdrops in Egypt.

But as I'm sitting here, eyes closed, following the train of thought through my meditations, the sound I hear is the sound of the wind coming in through my kitchen fan. Outside of my kitchen is the passageway between buildings, and it's like a wind tunnel, so the wind is whistling thought the spinning fan, and it sounds like I imagine the wind across the snowy plains of the arctic sound - a strange sound to be hearing when sitting and thinking about spring.

I think about reading too... have been thinking I haven't done enough of it, and that I'm going too slowly thought the books I need to read. I signed up yesterday for the Reada-thing that Librarything are doing. Of course, I won't be reading Dickens. I never could get along with him - a bad experience with Great Expectations at school, I think, is what put me off... but I have plenty to read, and having a set time to sit down and do some reading will work well. I might even add more times yet. I don't know. I do know I want to finish this current book... most definitely. I wouldn't say I wasn't enjoying it, but... I've read better. As a three word review of the first quarter of the book, it's not terribly encouraging.

A Word Or Two To Heal

Brigid went out in the early dawn,
and saw a hose with a shattered leg.
Bone to bone she knit, flesh to flesh,
vein to vein she sewed, sinew back to sinew.
Bigid, by her woman's power, healed.
And by my woman's power, I can heal myself.

--Traditional Irish song

Learning when to turn inward for our own healing is one of life's hardest lessons.

Today is the beginning of the Read-athing on Librarything.com and I actually set an alarm so that I wouldn't sleep through the first session I had committed to. No, that doesn't mean it was a chore, it means that I didn't want to miss it. As it happens there as a 1 hour gap between the first session I had signed up for and the three others. In eality, what happened was that I just read through all five hours.

I spending so much time today reading, I realised just how much I missed it and how much it is something I enjoy. I mean, sure, I've been reading in little bits, and hour here, a few minutes there... but not a long period of sustained reading, like I did today, and will do tomorrow, and the next several days. I'm just going to have to keep going once the Read-athing is finished.

It's small things like this that provide the steps to our healing - spiritual as well as physical... things that make us 'feel' better make us feel better... ease our dis-ease. It's like, in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, one of the first things you're asked to do is to identify activities that you enjoy doing, that make you feel good - and to set aside some time each day to engage in these activities. Mood boosting I suppose. But it does work. I love to read almost more than I love to write, but I've had so little time to do either, as stupid as that sounds - that I'm missing both. Now that I'm reading more, even in the last couple of days, I'm already feeling more relaxed.

Maybe in a few days I'll even be able to write something, (beyong book reviews and stuff for work). There are journals to write for, on Trek Blog and Stargate Blog... novels to continue... assignments to write, and all these are things I really want to do. It is frustrating coming home so tired and drained from work that I'm really good for nothing... which is why I never have the 'time' to do these things I want to do.

So... having the kindle and reading has been immensely healing for me. I hope it continues.