Cutting the Cord

erverFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

If you had a sad childhood, so what?
You can dance with only one leg
and see the snowflake falling
with only one eye.
--Robert Bly

carry less and try to dance on my crutches. For only while loving do the pains of feeling lighten.

I deliberately left typing this until today, because I wanted to see how what I decided I would do for Samhain turned out… interesting that I did… given the quote above, and what I found.

As part of my working for Samhain I decided I would read through my old 'workling' journal – the book in which I kept a record of all the thoughts and meditations and working I had pertinent to the path I follow… and I had an epiphany of sorts to answer a question I asked a while back, as to what 'else' could have so put me off from walking the path for so long.

While reading the last entries, the last several months when I clung to the path were filled with what can only be described as 'betrayals' – two major incidents, and I started to think that maybe to my mind, I had linked the pain of those betrayals with the 'path' rather than the people.

I have long since laid to rest my animosity with the people… not it is time to let go of what never existed in the first place… it was not the path that caused me such pain, but the behaviour of the people… the path is a part of me, and I choose how and with whom I walk it… or in the wake of a lighter heart – dance along it.

To Do What I Can Do

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of the activist neutralizes his or her work for peace.
--Thomas Merton

…we have only two hands and one heart.

Well, I was up at 6:45 today and all ready to go… only no call. More opportunity to get in some more job application – which is making a good thing out of it. Later in the day I got a call about some work for later in the month, and if you can believe it an advance booking for January. I took the booking, sure, but by January I will have a temporary job, because that's my goal, to find a 2 term position that starts after the Christmas vacation that will take me to the end of the school year. But until then I can only do what I can do… only two hands.

I was pleased with the way the meditation I did based around the turning of the year felt and how I felt when I woke up… want to figure out how to keep the Craefte journal again, but once more that boils down to only having two hands… I don't want to overload myself with trying to do too much. But I do feel… I don't know… somehow lighter hearted with having taken these first few steps back on the path again.

In other news, November is NaNo month… doing what I can with Use'ara, as I'd said I would. Managed to get a good start.