![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
Unfortunately, there is no escaping this underside of growth. So it is not surprising that there are many feelings peculiar to human beings that prevent us from shedding what has ceased to work, including fear, pride, nostalgia, a comfort in the familiar, and a want to please those we love. Often we give up our right to renewal to accommodate the anxiety of those around us.
Perhaps these things should be called the 'deadly spiritual sins' or something, because they do prevent us from living.
Never more so has this been brought home to me than by working through these thoughts and meditations. By reading every day the things that Mir has written, and by writing my own (never letting each other influence what we have written), and for her to read my entries.
And with the turning of time I believe I've finally manage to wriggle free skin that I've been hiding in. I feel more open. I feel more able to speak, to say what I want, what I need what I mean. Yes, I'll be the first to admit that I often don't do/say things that I know will hurt others, or try to do or say things to please the people I care about, but all it's done is tighten the skin around me until it was even harder to wriggle out of.
I'm glad, profoundly glad that Mir and I are doing this - I do, I think we both do, also wish that others would join us on this journey, because it really is self renewing, but... for whatever reason it seems just the two of us and that's fine.
In the last few days, I've felt better in myself... and I've felt and expressed my feelings. I know I shouldn't get complacent, I know I haev to keep doing the things I'm doing, but I feel like I'm in a position to do that now. I'm sure it will be renewing for both of us and that makes me happy.
Happy but tired. What was I thinking walking all that way today... admittedly I only walked back, and thereby hangs a tale - not a very exciting one, but confusing actually. I don't understand why my alarm didn't go off - but even so, and hour and 15minutes walking. My leg and feet are not very friendly with me right now... and I'm very tired.
But a good kinda tired.
Often we give up our right to renewal
to accommodate the anxiety of those around us.
Unfortunately, there is no escaping this underside of growth. So it is not surprising that there are many feelings peculiar to human beings that prevent us from shedding what has ceased to work, including fear, pride, nostalgia, a comfort in the familiar, and a want to please those we love. Often we give up our right to renewal to accommodate the anxiety of those around us.
Perhaps these things should be called the 'deadly spiritual sins' or something, because they do prevent us from living.
Never more so has this been brought home to me than by working through these thoughts and meditations. By reading every day the things that Mir has written, and by writing my own (never letting each other influence what we have written), and for her to read my entries.
And with the turning of time I believe I've finally manage to wriggle free skin that I've been hiding in. I feel more open. I feel more able to speak, to say what I want, what I need what I mean. Yes, I'll be the first to admit that I often don't do/say things that I know will hurt others, or try to do or say things to please the people I care about, but all it's done is tighten the skin around me until it was even harder to wriggle out of.
I'm glad, profoundly glad that Mir and I are doing this - I do, I think we both do, also wish that others would join us on this journey, because it really is self renewing, but... for whatever reason it seems just the two of us and that's fine.
In the last few days, I've felt better in myself... and I've felt and expressed my feelings. I know I shouldn't get complacent, I know I haev to keep doing the things I'm doing, but I feel like I'm in a position to do that now. I'm sure it will be renewing for both of us and that makes me happy.
Happy but tired. What was I thinking walking all that way today... admittedly I only walked back, and thereby hangs a tale - not a very exciting one, but confusing actually. I don't understand why my alarm didn't go off - but even so, and hour and 15minutes walking. My leg and feet are not very friendly with me right now... and I'm very tired.
But a good kinda tired.
