Use'ara - Blog and Site for Original Fic.

Very quick flyby posting as I have so very much to do in the early part of this evening. I've been thinking about it for a long time. Whining and complaining about it for longer still - well now I've actually done something about it, and I'm proud to unveil the site over at Wordpress where I'll be posting things concerning my original fiction.

The Blog and associated site can be found by following the link. Please remember it's still under construction - there's only so much one can do in an hour or so, but at least it's a start, and something to build on.

Remember to Breathe

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

Work when there is work to do. Rest when you are tired. One thing done in peace will most likely be better than ten things done in panic...
I am not a hero if I deny rest; I am only tired.
-Susan McHenry

I try to start each day with such a small endearing moment, before the bumps and nicks and noise rush in, before the confusions and conflicts tighten my sense of things.

I used to do this. I used to begin and end each day with a few moments of quiet meditation or reflection. Nothing too long, just a moment or two. A time to breathe, a time to centre myself for the day... a moment or two to be.

I'm not really sure what happened. Partly I think it is the fact that I'm not really a morning person, so getting up that extra half hour or so earlier so that this time can be isn't exactly appealing, but... as I'm writing this, I'm wondering how much of that is a kind of catch 22. Wondering if I started doing this again, would I enjoy mornings more? Would I find myself more at peace through the day?

I have felt for some time that something is missing, perhaps this is part of that 'something' Perhaps this is just another step along the path back to the light at the centre of the Grove.

Among the conflicts I face today: I learned that that my Grandfather's health is declining. He has renal failure, and the nursing home where he lives has contacted my father to ask for permission not to move him to hospital but to allow him to remain in his 'home.' He had a fall recently and broke his hip and I'm certain that the stresses of that, plus the fact that he is in his mid nineties have all contributed to his condition.

Dad says he's not the man he used to be, and that's true. In many way, even before his physical decline, he hasn't been the same since Grandma passed. They were two souls entwined on a life journey, and in spite of finding some companionship many years after Gran's passing,, I'm sure it wasn't the same for him, for all that Coralee is a lovely lady.

I'm sad naturally, he's my Grandfather, a man I spent a great deal of time with as a child, when school was out each summer we would stay with him and Grandma in their retirement home by the beach. My love of nature, or reading, and art, all really started on those summer vacations. It was through him and Gran that I learned to dance the waltz and other ballroom dances. Many memories to cherish... but Dad is right. In these later years he is not as he was, and I should hate for him to suffer for a long time.