What a Day!

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

If I had experienced different things,
I would have different things to say.

What is most healing about bearing witness to things exactly as they are, including my own part in my pain, is that when the voice of the pain fits the pain, there is no room for distortion or illusion. In this way, truth becomes a clean bandage that heals, keeping dirt out of the wound.

It would be nice, wouldn't it. I started out my day worrying because I couldn't find something - yet another things actually. It hurts a lot when that happens because whether it's my fault or not I feel like it is. I spent ten minutes or so walking around talking to the air, knowing I had not touched the thing that was lost. I was not in a good frame of mind.

Talking to the air is something I do a little more than I should. I should actually say what's on my mind when it's on my mind, but this whole, 'avoiding conflict' thing prevents that, anyway, the rest of the day was much better, right until the end of the evening.

This time I said what was on my mind at a point where I was feeling hurt, and there was no difference, there was conflict when I tried to voice my feelings, speak my mind and explain my intentions. There comes a point where I need to be heard, or at least listened to as I have tried very hard to listen to others in return... very very hard as a matter of fact, putting everything else aside.

But right now, I need that clean bandage...

(no subject)

From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

Let the opposing voices in your head speak.
They are only finding their part
in a larger, yet-to-be-heard song.

Isn't the trail of our relationships the time it takes for the heart to practice its part in the movement we call Love? Isn't the trail of our honest questions the time tit takes for the mind to practice it's part int he movement we call Wisdom?

Sometimes we're so in tune that we literally think the same things... not the cliched 'she finishes my thoughts' kind of things, just that we think the same things. For example, watching Enterprise together today, we both thought that the Vulcan's had on too much make up. I said as much, and Mir said that she had been thinking the same thing.

Sometimes we're not quite so in tune...

I hate those moments. Those are the moments that cause my heart conflict. Those are the moments I run from because I know that I can't not say how I feel, but I can't say either, because the way she feels is more important than the way I feel (though I know that Mir would say the other way around most of the time).

Being in tune is balance and calm, not so in tune just hurts.