![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Walls - Moods Can Come Later
Dec. 8th, 2011 02:36 amFrom The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
-Center yourself and meditate, by turns, on your sense of the wall you look out from and on your sense of who you are that does the looking.
-Breathe steadily. As you inhale, close your fist and feel your wall.
-Breathe slowly. As you exhale, open your hand and feel who you are.
-After a time, practice bringing who you are out beyond your wall by inhaling and exhaling with your hand open.
-After a time, stand and move about the room outside of your wall. Note how this feels.
This is something that feels like it should be an ongoing meditation rather than a onetime thing, so that's what I'm going to do with it. Each day over the next week – starting with tomorrow, I will do this in addition to my Chakra meditations that I have been doing.
I think it will be a good thing for me to do; a good way to address the insecurities that have me building the walls around myself in the first place. It said in the text for today about how we build the walls around us unnecessarily – that we fear each other without reason – words to that effect. I don't know that I agree with that...not completely.
For me, I know, and I'm sure many others, I have built walls in order to protect myself from being hurt, by words mostly, sometimes from actual deeds, but not often. I'm oversensitive, take criticism to heart, and take many things personally that aren't necessarily meant in that way. To be fair to me I have always done this, it isn't just something that started happening when I lost sight of myself, I think the difference before was that I somehow had the ability to ground those things. Not saying I didn't get hurt by things, just that I accepted the hurt, gave it to Earth and moved on. Somewhere along the line I stopped being able to do that.
Sometimes I wonder if there isn't a part of me that saw this acceptance and grounding as some kind of passiveness – that I was fighting societal conditioning that that particular behaviour was a kind of weakness, or behaving like a victim. I don't believe that – in fact I think the opposite to that. I consider it a strength... but it's a strength that I lost, and so started erecting walls instead, realising only now that another function of a wall is that it reflects everything back Building walls causes conflicts, it doesn't alleviate them or avoid them.
We will see what the meditations will bring.
The heart is a strong shore
and the ocean has many moods.
-Center yourself and meditate, by turns, on your sense of the wall you look out from and on your sense of who you are that does the looking.
-Breathe steadily. As you inhale, close your fist and feel your wall.
-Breathe slowly. As you exhale, open your hand and feel who you are.
-After a time, practice bringing who you are out beyond your wall by inhaling and exhaling with your hand open.
-After a time, stand and move about the room outside of your wall. Note how this feels.
This is something that feels like it should be an ongoing meditation rather than a onetime thing, so that's what I'm going to do with it. Each day over the next week – starting with tomorrow, I will do this in addition to my Chakra meditations that I have been doing.
I think it will be a good thing for me to do; a good way to address the insecurities that have me building the walls around myself in the first place. It said in the text for today about how we build the walls around us unnecessarily – that we fear each other without reason – words to that effect. I don't know that I agree with that...not completely.
For me, I know, and I'm sure many others, I have built walls in order to protect myself from being hurt, by words mostly, sometimes from actual deeds, but not often. I'm oversensitive, take criticism to heart, and take many things personally that aren't necessarily meant in that way. To be fair to me I have always done this, it isn't just something that started happening when I lost sight of myself, I think the difference before was that I somehow had the ability to ground those things. Not saying I didn't get hurt by things, just that I accepted the hurt, gave it to Earth and moved on. Somewhere along the line I stopped being able to do that.
Sometimes I wonder if there isn't a part of me that saw this acceptance and grounding as some kind of passiveness – that I was fighting societal conditioning that that particular behaviour was a kind of weakness, or behaving like a victim. I don't believe that – in fact I think the opposite to that. I consider it a strength... but it's a strength that I lost, and so started erecting walls instead, realising only now that another function of a wall is that it reflects everything back Building walls causes conflicts, it doesn't alleviate them or avoid them.
We will see what the meditations will bring.
