So...

We listen and try to work things out so that we're not just hanging around doing nothing... then as a concequence miss everyone and everything.

We feel unloved and unimportant for no particularly good or real reason.

We feel apprehensive for many reason, including the whole back to work thing tomorrow, which will also drag us untimely away from anyone and anything that /does/ happen to be on. For the record we /really/ hate that. We could sit and scream the same facts over and over again until we're blue in the face or until someone actually listens - but that would only make us look foolish and give us a sore throat.

We hate spiders - and one just had the audacity to climb our wall. (that was random and not really important).

We love too much, and end up hurting a lot just lately because of it, but we'd rather do that than not love at all.

The people we love are too far away, and though we're working on that, the uncertainty and waiting is terrifying and painful.

We know all of the above it bullshit - and will probably piss people off.

We're not very happy today.

Every Healer's Nightmare.

I stand here looking down at the palid grey of her once light filled face, her bright blue eyes closed against the blood and blackness I know I will find there when I open them to see... Her exhaused betrothed, the father of the child she, by some miracle, yet carries, encircling her with his arms. He'll not let her out of them I know until she either wakes or fades. The child's light too gutters as does his nana's. I cannot help wondering, worrying where it was that we went wrong. How did we fail her so badly?

My beloved told me the barest facts in the shock of the aftermath last night... the fuller report came to me from one of the healers under my order at first light. A massive systemic infection by the insidious poison that makes the wraiths.

She had been treating others so afflicted for months... all of us have, and what happened her is every healer's nightmare. We'd been so careful - managed to avoid cross infection of the many un-natural afflictions brought to us by this war - so what went wrong this time? I cannot imagine Lareth would have been careless with her own care, the basics of any healer's lessons, let alone the automatic life saving practise of the Masters... of which she was one. How did we fail her? How can we avoid further incidences of this?

She has so much reason to live... at yet the feeling of her aura today... it is one of helplessness and despair; it is one of a deep sickness from which many others in the Healer Hall do not recover. And if we have missed any little thread in the purge that - according to the notes - almost took her from us...

I do not want to have to be the one to hand the Laticus to Tevelari in a tenday and sit with him as he grieves her light, though I fear so much this will be my role. Pray I-Arelen that I am wrong.

Kethe

Today's wise words from the calendar

"Some of the best ideas come to mind between appointemnts, when you have a few minutes to be quiet, when you aren't in a hurry. Had you been rushing around, running late, it's likely the ideas wuld have been buried in the frazzle."

So there you have it. Slow down.
-c-