cedar_grove (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cedar_grove) wrote2011-03-18 07:17 pm
cedar_grove) wrote2011-03-18 07:17 pm
Giving Care
From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
Within one's self, the remedy of spirit that allows for true giving resides somewhere in the faith to believe that each of us is worthy of love, just as we are.
I find myself so very much at odds with the overall message of the text today. It's so very cynical to me, and I need no help at all to look at things through cynical eyes.
Granted, yes, caring for people, looking after them makes me feel good within myself, but that's not why I do it. It's an additional and unsoughtafter bonus, a boost to my self esteem, but that isn't my motivation. I do it because people need it...
Whether that be for Mir, when I am there, cooking, cleaning, despidering and the rest. I'm motivated by love and not to say - "look what I've done, aren't I good?" Perhaps it's different when you're so often apart as we are, that the chance to share that kind of giving is a gift in and of itself, to the giver... I don't know. I just know that it's what I do.
The last time I was able to go, to begin with Mir was recovering from being sick. I wish I could have been there with her when she was very sick and no one was listening to her, or caring for her. It hurts that I wasn't.
And also poor little Jackson, who today, passed over into the great rattie beyond, was sick and needed care. It was a gift to me to be able to spend that time with him, caring for him throughout the day - wiping his little eyes when he needed them wiped, making sure he was comfortable and had enough to eat - because when I left, both Mir and I were sure I would never see him again. We were correct, sadly... though he's at peace now and no longer struggling with the cancer he had. I didn't expect 'praises' from him. I just wanted to be there for him.
I don't know, maybe it's what I do, because it's what I hope others would do for me... and maybe that's the way I express the thought that we are all worthy of love just as we are.
Accept this gift,
so I can see myself as giving.
Within one's self, the remedy of spirit that allows for true giving resides somewhere in the faith to believe that each of us is worthy of love, just as we are.
I find myself so very much at odds with the overall message of the text today. It's so very cynical to me, and I need no help at all to look at things through cynical eyes.
Granted, yes, caring for people, looking after them makes me feel good within myself, but that's not why I do it. It's an additional and unsoughtafter bonus, a boost to my self esteem, but that isn't my motivation. I do it because people need it...
Whether that be for Mir, when I am there, cooking, cleaning, despidering and the rest. I'm motivated by love and not to say - "look what I've done, aren't I good?" Perhaps it's different when you're so often apart as we are, that the chance to share that kind of giving is a gift in and of itself, to the giver... I don't know. I just know that it's what I do.
The last time I was able to go, to begin with Mir was recovering from being sick. I wish I could have been there with her when she was very sick and no one was listening to her, or caring for her. It hurts that I wasn't.
And also poor little Jackson, who today, passed over into the great rattie beyond, was sick and needed care. It was a gift to me to be able to spend that time with him, caring for him throughout the day - wiping his little eyes when he needed them wiped, making sure he was comfortable and had enough to eat - because when I left, both Mir and I were sure I would never see him again. We were correct, sadly... though he's at peace now and no longer struggling with the cancer he had. I didn't expect 'praises' from him. I just wanted to be there for him.
I don't know, maybe it's what I do, because it's what I hope others would do for me... and maybe that's the way I express the thought that we are all worthy of love just as we are.