Mar. 10th, 2011

Stop

Mar. 10th, 2011 01:25 am
cedar_grove: (Stormcloud)
When did I become so ridiculously afraid of criticism and on the defensive all the time?

Petals...

Mar. 10th, 2011 10:40 pm
cedar_grove: (Love You)
From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.


We survive...and then we die.
-Ojibway Elder



Thin and fragrant petals do not hide from the wind. They survive to die and break ground again. even within one life, we shred and re-root. We break, bleed, and rearrange into yet another beautiful thing that learns how to reach. Resisting this process doubles our pain. Singing our way through it is the source of wisdom and beauty.

Reading this made me cry. They were not tears of sadness, but tears of awareness, of understanding; empathy.

I've been such a flower, of before and of late... wrapped tightly in my prickly, thorny sepal trembling against a wind of my own making - my own imagining - hiding and keeping everthing at bay with the tough green shell around my petals.

These last several weeks, wrapped up tightly I have invited the wind inside... felt the sharpness of it blowing all around my tissue thin self, breaking through, peeling back the layers revealing me to myself a bit at a time... and yes, I have broken and bled... I still do.

I am now... but happily so - embracing all the pains and trying to find my heart, my voice so that I can sing. So that I can be the looking glass through which I can show the beauty I know I possess.

I know I'm not perfect, I know it's taking a while, but I'm getting there slowly - pulling off the sepal to let myself out... to share myself properly, as I have always done before.

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